A British woman has become an online hero after delivering a smart response to a guy who called her fat following a Tinder date.
Michelle Thomas, 30-year-old blogger and cafe manager from south London, went for drinks in a pub, then a walk along the Thames with the man she met on the app. The night ended with a kiss and the two went home separately.
The next day was a shock for Michelle, though, after she received a note from the guy informing her there would be no second date—because he didn’t like her body.
“I really enjoyed your company and actually adore you. You're cheeky and funny and just the sort of girl I would love to go out with if only my body and mind would let me. But I fear it won't.
I'm not going to bull***t you... I f***ing adore you Michelle and I think you're the prettiest looking girl I've ever met. But my mind gets turned on by someone slimmer. Shallow? It's not meant to be. It's the same reaction you get when you read a great author or see an amazing image, or listen to a piece of music you love, it has that instant reaction in you that makes you crave more.
“So whilst I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face, your personality (and God...I really, really am), I can't say the same about your figure. So I can sit there and flirt and have the most incredibly fun evening, but I have this awful feeling that when we got undressed your body would let me down. I don't want that to happen baby. We could be amazing friends, we could flirt and joke and adore each other and.... f*** me... I would marry you like a shot if you were a slip of a girl because what you have in that mind of yours is utterly unique, and I really really love it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm trying to avoid bigger pain in the future by telling you now so we don't have to go through that embarrassment. I'm a man... With all the red hot lusts of a man and all the failings of a man and I'm sure of my own body and its needs. Please try and forgive me, I adore you xx.”
What. A. Jerk. And Michelle thought so too, but she handled the guy in the best way possible. After bursting into tears, she realized it was his problem, took a look in the mirror and was once again adorable. (See? she's adorable.)
Michelle took to her blog to write him a response.
“Dear man I met on Tinder:
I was on another date when I received your message. He returned from the loo to find me in a flood of tears. He was lovely, but baffled, and hasn't been in touch since, funnily enough.
You don't have to fancy me. We all have a good friend who we look at ruefully and think ‘you're lovely, but you just don't tickle my pickle.’ We wish we were attracted to them, but our bodies and our brains don't work like that. And that's fine.
What isn't fine is the fact that, after a few hours in my company, you took the time to write this utterly uncalled-for message. It's nothing short of sadistic. Your tone is saccharine and condescending, but the forensic detail in which you express your disgust at my body is truly grotesque. The only possible objective for writing it is to wound me.
And I'm ashamed to say, for a few moments, it worked. You stirred a dormant fear that every woman who was ever a teenage girl has—that it doesn't matter how funny you are, how clever, how kind, how passionate, how loyal, how determined or adventurous or vibrant—if you're a stone overweight, no one will ever find you desirable. I like the way I look. I don't look like Charlize Theron, and that's fine - I look like me, and I like myself (I'm sure I'd like Charlize Theron, too if I ever met her. I hear good things).
You may think are all my profile pictures are ‘FGASs’ (That's Fat Girl Angle Shots—pictures from angles that slim and flatter the girl. Because men only ever use candid, brutally-lit, unfiltered pics). But I think they're a fair representation. And I'm pretty upfront about who I am: I describe myself as a woman who loves pizza…Does that mean that I can't love and enjoy my body now? F*** no. I'll never see or hear from you again (you may feel the need to respond to this blog. Please don't. There's nothing you can say that will make me think that you're not a disgrace to your gender). What truly concerns me, the real reason I'm responding so publicly, is the fact that you have a 13 year old daughter. A talented illustrator, who collects Manga comics and wants to visit Japan as soon as possible.
I want you to encourage your daughter to love, enjoy, and care for her body. It belongs to her and only her. Praise her intellect, and her creativity. Push her to push herself and to be fearless. Give her the tools to develop a bomb-proof sense of self-esteem so that if (I'll be kind. I'll say “if”.) the time comes that a small, unhappy man attempts to corrode it, she can respond as I do now. Simon. Kiss. My. Exquisitely. Unmarriageable. Arse.
P.S. “Slip of a girl”? CHRIST ALIVE, that's creepy. P.P.S. You're not 5'11”
Since posting the letter, Michelle has had hundreds of messages from both men and women thanking her for sharing the story.
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