How Unhinged Does a Person Have to Be to Put a KITTEN in Checked Baggage?

Very.

Listen, traveling with cats is the worst, we know. They hide behind the toilet when they see the carrier, then they hiss and claw as you try to finagle them into the little zippered opening. They cry and mew and howl from the instant they are caged until the moment they’re freed — and if the TSA makes you take them out during a security check, there’s an 89 percent chance you’ll never see them again. We get it, cats! No one likes flying.

But y’know what is NOT a solution to this problem? Packing your cat in checked baggage as if it’s, like, an old hair dryer. Didn’t stop a young Floridian couple from trying, though.

According to the Erie Times-News, Olivia Sari and Nicholas Larrison, both 21, were traveling from Erie, Pennsylvania to Tampa, Florida when their checked bag was flagged by the TSA for additional inspection. As officials combed through the suitcase, they found a six-month-old kitten packed among their clothes and other sundry items “without food, water, or air,” noted Ian Bogle, the airport’s director of public safety and facilities.

“It was a poor decision made on the customers’ part,” said Bogle, in what can only be described as the greatest effing understatement of 2018 thus far. See, here’s the thing: Clothes are inanimate objects made out of fibers, while a cat is a living, breathing animal with physical needs and actual emotions. That is not a “poor decision,” but a willful act of cruelty.

Thankfully, the tiny kitten — named Slim — was rescued before he could hit the tarmac, and he was mercifully handed over to the Humane Society of Northwestern Pennsylvania, where he’ll be placed in a home hopefully not occupied by complete lunatics.

And because there is a little bit of justice in this world, the deranged couple was charged with transporting animals in a cruel manner. They’ll face fines and costs, and — most importantly — will never be able to hurt Slim again.

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