Toya Asks Herself the Tough Questions
Toya tries to clear up any lingering questions the "real people" who watch the show might have about this Season.
A little Q&A. . .
What's the biggest lesson that I've learned this season about myself?
I've learned that no matter what others think of me and how much they try to belittle me, it's NOT about me. It takes a lot of internal dysfunction and unhappiness to constantly pick at somebody and bring them down. So if someone is continuously trying to bring me down, it's because they're miserable and they are CRAVING company down where they are. So I can't take it personally, because their abuse or misuse of me is simply a cry for help. So no longer will I let the words, thoughts, or opinions of others on Married to Medicine, social media, or people in my day-to-day life, weigh me down and make me doubt who I KNOW I am.
What do I want the fans to know that they didn't see this season?
I wish that you had seen more about me raising my little sister from the time she was a teenager until she was 21. You also didn't see the FULL EXTENT of how we lost the $50K. But, I can't be concerned with what others perceive off of the STORY that is told, because I know the truth. No matter WHAT others say, I LOVE my home, and I'm grateful that in spite of the situation, I still have a BEAUTIFUL place to stay in a WONDERFUL neighborhood that my family loves! You have to see the light at the end of every tunnel.
There was a huge argument on set at the Reunion, between myself and Dr. Simone. Is there anything else to say?
No, I believe you saw exactly what took place. To be honest, Simone has continuously disrespected me, and that was the last straw for me. I don't believe in acting out in violence, and I wasn't going to. She thought she was going to say whatever she wanted to me, as in the past, and that I wasn't going to react. All it took was a flip of the hair and a shift in her direction -- and all of a sudden, I "lunged at her" as she says.
No, I wasn't going to attack her, but I walked back in her face to let her know that she wasn't going to continue to disrespect me in that way. And now she's scared because I've stood up for myself. The real issue isn't that she feels physically threatened. She's just scared to know that no longer will I take her mess, and that if she comes for me again, I'm going to shut that down immediately. THAT'S what frightens her. She's used to the peaceful, non-responsive Toya who just sat there while she threw daggers. Well today's a new day, and if she has something to say, you BETTER BELIEVE Toya's coming back with something to say.
Looking back, is there anything that I wish I did differently, regarding the Reunion incident?
I wish I hadn't let her get me so upset. I know that I have to have tough skin, especially in a world full of angry, bitter people who are looking to make you feel the hurt that they're feeling inside. However, as I previously stated, I was fed up. However, I still don't think I can say that I would have reacted differently, because had I simply walked away as I normally do, she would have kept throwing daggers, and eventually spears. So I HAD to stand up for myself to show her that she can't just talk down on someone like that and keep yelling over them to make herself look and feel like the bigger person. The bigger person knows how to have a heated discussion without sacrificing their dignity and integrity. A mature person can cut you so deep, without saying anything vulgar or violent or aggressive. Clearly, Simone does just the opposite. She starts yelling and cussing, and calling names. Need I say more?
If asked would I come back for another season?
Because I've learned what I've learned about myself, and even some things about the other women, I would come back, and I'd like to see us all get along. I'm not even against being friends with Dr. Simone again. She's the one who is claiming to feel "threatened" by me, but I have no issue with her, and wouldn't even be against rekindling our friendship. As long as she knows I will not allow her to walk over me anymore, we can fix what was broken. So yes, I'd come back without any hesitation.
I just want to say thank you to the people who aren't "fans" but are "real people" on social media watching the show and encouraging me through those hard-to-watch moments. I can't lie -- sometimes the words of the other women sting and hurt. But I thank God for the supporters from social media who remind me of how important my role is as a mother, and how important it is that I choose to be present in my children's life, instead of neglecting them and leaving them at a nanny's house as I strive to stack up my checks.
Before I had children, I wasn't thinking about being a mother. I was enjoying my life and my career. But being a mother changed me and made me reevaluate and prioritize some things, and I realized that once I became a mother, it was NO LONGER ABOUT ME. So if that meant sacrificing my career for my family, then so-be-it. Because what ultimately makes me happy is seeing them happy. As long as my children and my husband are happy, that's really all that matters. So I thank the supporters for continuously having my back and reaffirming that for me.