This week we got to see some of our Most Eligible Dallas denizens looking for love on dates that were mostly just eligible for awards in awkwardness. The plus side? We've definitely got our Dallas don'ts covered this week. Let's see what lessons we can learn from our sexy singles...
DO: Sing for the person you may or may not be trying to woo
If you've got a good set of pipes, don't be afraid to show them off to potential suitors. Just about every girl claims to be just friends with Matt, but if our chemistry radar is working right (and we'd like to think it usually is), there's definitely some sparkage between him and Neill. And what better way to set yourself apart from the deluge of Dallas blonds than with the power of song? I can attest to the fact that hearing someone you're seeing sing can be super sexy. That is of course assuming they're good.
DON'T: Be afraid to see a matchmaker
Patti Stanger has approved this message. But in all seriousness, good for Drew for stepping outside the box and his comfort zone to try and find a mate. Drew also wasn't afraid to be pretty honest about what he needs, even when it comes to his "rabbit-like symptoms of horniness." It sounded to me like he layed out some pretty clear instructions about what he was looking for, but somehow it didn't quite work out for Drew... More on this later.
Side Note: Do you think those glamor shots behind the matchmaker's desk were her when she was younger?
DO: Use condoms
Regardless of the underlying context of Courtney's statement during her dinner with Matt, we fully endorse safe sex!
DO: Have self-confidence
Glenn certainly isn't lacking in the self-love department, yet somehow he manages to still come off like a total sweetheart. (How is that possible?) In any event, he is so pleased with his modeling photos that he wants to plaster them on the side of his Cadillac. Excuse me, his Pakulak Cadillac. You'd think this comes off obnoxious, but somehow he even pulls that off sounding cute. Clearly self-confidence and good looks can be a deadly combination.
DON'T: Bring a Dallas diva bowling (and then get into an accident in the parking lot)
I still find it hard to believe that Tara had never been bowling before, but I don't blame her for finding it a strange venue for a first date. A first date is drinks or dinner, not competitive sports. (I don't like to expose my rampant competitive streak too early.) Bowling is also asking for a broken nail, and if it's surprise (as it was for Tara), you may show up sockless, and nothing is less sexy than borrowed socks coupled with borrowed shoes.
Things only continued to go wrong when he got into an accident in the parking lot. Oof. Props to him at least for recovering after that, because it's just super awkward. "Oh, just stay in the car while I give this man my isurance info." Yeah, not exactly a swoon-worthy statement.
DON'T: Bring a girl to dinner and then invite some more girls that she doesn't know
Matt's whole bring-multiple-girls-on-one-date approach remains rather baffling to me. I think it was also a little baffling to poor Shannon as well. She seemed to be out of the loop on how these dinners work, unlike Brittnye and Kat. But nobody got up and left, so I suppose their must be something to this style of seduction, even if it was a little awkward. I guess it's more of a do at your own risk.
DON'T: Go into a matchmaker date blind
Drew didn't seem to know anything other than his date's name before meeting him for their first date, and that ended up being a really bad move. He was way too short for his taste, a Mexican ginger (which, while it sounded exotic to us, didn't do it for Drew), and the real sticking point -- he didn't want kids. Now Drew specifically said he wanted someone who wanted a family, so I'm not quite sure how that fell through the cracks. Guess this wasn't the matchmaker for him, but lesson learned -- always get the info on someone (or at least do some extensive Facebook stalking) before you go on date with someone you haven't met.
DON'T: Be too sarcastic with someone you're trying to make up with
I get that Courtney's a kidder, but it may not be the best idea to lay the sarcasm on so thick with someone who doesn't know you that well. Courtney and Neill's attempt at reconciliation was, well, just about as awkward as the first dates from earlier in the episode. And that's saying a lot. The real loser in that situation however was Tara, who I think would have excused herself, gone to the bathroom, and jumped out of the nearest window if she could have.
Next week Glenn and Courtney share some quality time. Could she be looking for a ride in the Pakulak Cadillac...