It sparkles, lights up the place, and doesn’t talk back.
So a British woman who bought a pretty chandelier online (the chandelier is female and gay) plans to marry it. She’s become hooked on “kisses and cuddles” with it, reports The Sun, so much so that the two are tying the knot sooner rather than later.
Amanda Liberty, 33, and “Lumiere,” 70, who cost $500 online, are in love, and met in 2016.
“As soon as I saw Lumiere on eBay, I knew immediately that she was the one for me and it was love at first sight,” Amanda says. No word on if she needs to change her meds to ones that are effective. “She was based in Germany and although I knew it would be tricky to get her home, I knew I needed to find a way to make her mine.”
That way would be express shipping.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about her and how beautiful she was — she has such a beautiful shape and I could feel really amazing energy coming from her.”
Mmm hmmm. That would be called electricity.
Anyway, these two lovebirds are happily ensconced inside Amanda’s Leeds home. Oddly enough, this chandy was the Annette Bening to Amanda’s Warren Beatty — and she told her 24 other chandeliers, who she was in an “open relationship” with, that Lumiere is now her one and only.
“After buying the chandelier, I patiently waited for her to be imported into the UK and after six days of waiting, she was finally in my arms,” she says. “She had been disassembled for her own safety, but once I put all her pieces together and she settled into her new home, our relationship just went from strength to strength.”
Amanda proposed last Valentine’s Day (table for two!) and hopes to hold a commitment ceremony soon.
Although she doesn’t sleep with Lumiere, she’s still her favorite. Thankfully, the other lights don’t get jealous.
“None of my chandeliers are jealous of each other, they understand that I love them all for all of their different personalities,” Amanda says. “For example, I love kissing and cuddling Lumiere, but I sleep with Jewel every night, as she is portable and very nice to cuddle.”
Her attraction to chandeliers began when she spotted her first, Luna, calling it “love at first sight.” You can’t control who you fall in love with and things just went from there.”
“My dream job would be to work in public buildings such as Buckingham Palace, looking after the grand chandeliers that they have there,” she adds.
Amanda has been labeled (probably along with some other things), an Objectum Sexual, someone who is sexually attracted to inanimate objects.
As a teen, she dated a drum kit, then as her tastes matured, she fell in love with the Statue of Liberty, or “Libby,” to her. She’s visited Libs six times to gaze at and tell her she loves her. However, the distance and Libs height made things impossible, so Amanda moved on.
“People often can’t understand that this is just a natural orientation for me, that I can find the beauty in objects and can sense their energy,” she says. “I want others to see how happy the chandeliers make me and how much they’ve enriched my life. I’m not hurting anyone by entering into a relationship with them, I am simply just following my heart.”
Or the light.
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