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Everyone Is Trying to Figure Out Why (and Where) Melania Trump Has Been Hiding for the Last 21 Days

Peek-a-boo, where are you, FLOTUS?

Where in the world is Melania Trump?

It’s now been 21 days since the First Lady was seen in public. There have been more Bigfoot sightings than Melania sightings since before her kidney surgery at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center on May 14. She was last spotted on May 10, when she joined her husband at Andrews Air Force Base to welcome home hostages from North Korea.

“I see the media is working overtime speculating where I am & what I’m doing,” the first lady tweeted on May 30 (day 20.) “Rest assured, I’m here at the @WhiteHouse w/my family, feeling great, & working hard on behalf of children & the American people!”

But did Melania really write the tweet? One theory says Donald actually wrote it, but that’s easily refuted — we all know his tweeting style and it’s not that.

One news correspondent swore she saw Melania around the White House as recently as Tuesday afternoon.

“Not that this will deter the conspiracy theorists, but I saw the First Lady walking with her aides in the West Wing yesterday afternoon,” CNBC’s Eamon Javers tweeted on Wednesday.

Paolo Zampolli, a longtime pal of Melania’s, told the Associated Press she “wanted to spend some quality time with her family.”

OK, but that still does’t explain why she can’t go outside.

Other “reports” say she’s filed for divorce. Some say she’s moved back to New York City because she hates life in D.C.

Her “$20 million, 4-year” contract with her husband is up.

There’s the one about special counsel Robert Mueller having her under questioning for hours and hours.

She’s helping Barack Obama on his Netflix special. Or his book. Or both. Sure, OK.

She had a top secret nip and tuck and will come back looking very … refreshed.

She’s very, very ill.

She had surgery to treat “an embolization procedure to treat a benign kidney condition.” Oh wait, that one’s real.

“Sadly, we deal with conspiracy theories all the time, so this is nothing new, just more silly nonsense,” her spokeswoman Stephanie Grisham told CNN. “She is doing great. I wouldn’t characterize it as a long absence. She was hospitalized for almost a week and is now home and recovering.”

The White House has released little information about her since the operation and Melania herself is under no public obligation to disclose what she has been doing. She is expected to make an appearance at the Congressional Picnic in June. If she’s not digging around for her Slovenian passport, that is.

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