Mommy Diaries

Hear about all the ups and downs of Robyn's pregnancy.

Apr 22, 2011

BREASTFEEDING was the HARDEST thing I had ever done. I used to judge women who said that the baby didn't latch on or the milk didn't come, and now I will never judge again. I could have quit, and no, she didn't latch on right away and the nurses convinced me into attaching this tube to boob with formula in it. They said she wasn't eating enough because she lost 10% of her body weight while we were there, and they freaked Mark out so he was worried and putting pressure on me too. The thing is, if an 8 pound 6 ounce baby loses a pound its no big deal. She's still a nice size baby. When CC's pediatrician came she wasn't worried, but it was already to late...  

We were in the hospital for 5 days and had many visitors and a room filled with beautiful flowers and treats. We had a beautiful corner private room with a river view, we had our very soothing spa music on low in the background. There was a bed set up in the room for Mark and for my sister Laura who stayed to help me one night when Mark went home to stay with the dogs. My mom stayed with Toby and Andie the other nights... Each night Mark brought home a blanket of Camden's to prepare them for her arrival. 

June 25th 2010

WE CHECKED OUT OF THE HOSPITAL. This in itself was an adventure... We had so many bags, flowers, cookie arrangements, stuffed animals, balloons, my suitcase, diaper bag, and everything else Mark, my mom and I had... After three trips for Mark downstairs to the car, the stress was already starting, and now the dress I planned on wearing home suddenly became too small. My milk came and BOOBS! They were PORN STAR HUGE, and it was so PAINFUL! It was like 90 degrees outside and once we got downstairs to the car Mark panicked and instead of just putting the car seat into the base that we already had installed with a lesson from the car seat lady he undid the base and pulled it out... Now what? With no memory of what we learned in the middle of a very busy circular driveway in the front of the hospital and the valet guys are asking us to move, we hailed over a police officer to help. My boobs are out of my dress and are killing me, Camden was hungry. so I decided to attempt my first public feeding in the front seat of the car. This was FREAKING OUT my mother who thought I was showing people my breasts, and I had to pee... FINALLY we were on our way home... We unload the car, and slowly make our way up as I'm still not moving fast and I'm still in pain with my belly and my boobs. We get to the front door and.., THE DOGS FREAKED OUT! My two little beautiful miniature dachshunds were literally screaming, drooling, and foaming at the mouth... They didn't know what the baby was. Trying to get comfortable in my own home was tough... I was in a ton of pain from the c-section. My bed is so high and I don't know how I will get up onto it without a stool. Especially in the dark when I have to get up to feed/change the baby or even go to the bathroom myself. The anxiety was flowing for everybody, and I just wanted to have peace... BREATHE! I asked my mom who I thought was going to be more hands on and helpful to order dinner or get some food (which eventually I had to order myself from delivery.com) since she was just sitting on my couch watching the NJ Housewives... The dogs are SCREAMING, the Italian women on TV are SCREAMING, my mom is sitting on her ass, Mark almost killed Toby, and my HORMONES ARE RAGING... All I wanted to do was to go back to the hospital. The food arrived, I ask my mom to make me a plate. She replies, "No, you'll wait until you're done nursing and we'll eat as family" I said, "ARE YOU KIDDING? I"M STARVING and need to eat NOW!" This is not the time for a family dinner. Eventually we all eat, the baby was sleeping, I said to my mom who is now watching QVC, "I think I might need to sleep on my couch tonight since my bed is too high and I'll need to get in and out of it. And with that she rolled over towards the wall to go to sleep. I head to the kitchen where I find our dinner dishes in the sink... IS SHE KIDDING ME? Could she please do something for me without me asking her to? Why is she giving me more work to do? And then she walks over to the hall closet and says to me, "I'm cold, I need a blanket," so I shoot her this look and she got angry and said something and then stormed out... I didn't hear from her for a few days and when I did she was acted like nothing happened. Over the next few days we had a tough time adjusting...

The dogs were really stressing us out an finally (it seemed like forever), we brought a trainer in. Marie really helped us. She gave us a bunch of tools and tricks. With a lot of hard work an consistency they would eventually chill out. Or at least I was really hoping they would. 

We had a several visitors, and I probably should have taken advantage and napped a little more while they were there. Once mark was back at work I had the doula come to help me a few days. She would tell me to take a nap but I thought how could I sleep with a stranger in my house? I will wake up (GOD forbid) and my baby would be gone. So instead I just had her cook for me, massage my feet, change CC's diapers and bring her to me to feed. But what I really needed was to sleep. We were so sleep deprived... The baby was getting up every two hours to eat. Breastfeeding was hard but got so much better after I started pumping a little and again after I figured out that my freestyle pump allowed me to be hands free!