Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Making a Match: Patti Melts and Bravo Reunions

Making a Match: Speidi, Bad Guys & Playboy

Making a Match: The Real Perez and Sexy Sonja

Making a Match: Making Jill (and Ally) Happy

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Patti is bummed that Shawn treated his date like an assistant, but praises Chef K's soft side (and sandwich!)

Read Patti's full transcript after the jump:We’re at the rose café, and I decided to tell Rachel and Destin about the guy I’ve been seeing. I met David online, and it’s going great. Rachel and Destin are happy for me.

Rachel pitches Chef K. Chef K owns her own catering company, she’s a personal chef to the stars, she’s a bad-ass in the kitchen at the height of her career and she wants to share it with someone: she wants it all. The picket fence, the house, the baby on board, and she’s got a celebrity crush on Natalie Portman. She’s an edgy egg: hard on the outside, and soft on the inside.

Shawn Thomas started his business when he was broke, and now ten years later, he’s worth $20 million (high achiever type). He’s 42, never been married, no kids, but wants a family. Celebrity crush: Jessica Biel. I pick up right away that he’s Mr. Bossy-Pants. When he says he’s been accused of treating his girlfriends like an employee, he ain’t kidding.

Chef K meets me at the Rose Café; age range she wants is 25 to 35, and someone who wants to settle down and is very serious about marriage and wants children. But the wife has to have the kids, not her. Chef K really wants someone to come home to.

I meet Shawn at my office; he needs a girl who has her own thing going on, is in shape, and is ready to start a family right now. He admits he’s bossy, so I tell him he cannot boss the girl around, and at the end of the day, it’s a two-way street. We’re at the mixer at the Reef in Long Beach. Chef K chooses Rocio over Jillian. Rocio was able to put Chef K at ease, and she loved that Rocio's favorite comfort food was something simple: and peanut butter and banana sandwich. Chef K meets Rocio at a boat; they have fishing poles and it looks like they’ll be fishing for their lunch. Good thing Chef K has a back-up plan if they don’t catch anything! They open up to each other about control, and eventually it’s time for a quick bite. They have a champagne toast, and share a kiss at the end.

Shawn picks up Alison in a limo. They ride around town, drink wine, and nibble on food. For dinner, Shawn takes her to a restaurant where they have more wine, and Alison opens up to him about her fear of getting hurt, and Shawn calls her naïve. This quickly goes downhill, until it’s time to just stop the bleeding. Chef K says the date went well; she wants to call Rocio. After they get her on the phone, Chef K asks Rocio out for brunch: it sounds like a good plan! Alison calls and she wants to talk with me and she’s upset: she didn’t like her date with Shawn. Alison tells me that part of the date was good, but then things got heated and he got controlling. We bring Shawn in, and Alison tells him that he made her feel uncomfortable.

Shawn says he’s sorry. So I ask him: “Do you treat girls like assistants?” because that was his problem in the past. He needs to get therapy and work on himself. When he’s ready, I will set him up again. 

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Patti dishes on pulling the surprise switch on Chilli's master date and getting NFL Pro Jeff Ogden to switch up his priorities.

Season 8 of The Millionaire Matchmaker is one of the most dramatic ever. This time around, Patti Stanger is helping plenty of unlikely clients find love, from Anna Nicole Smith's husband Larry Birkhead and Perez Hilton to Jill Zarin's daughter Ally.
Each week, we're asking Patti to weigh in on every episode in her exclusive vlog. She'll tackle the good (nixing Melyssa Ford's vix), the bad (Chilli's date gone wrong)—and the hilarious (remember when Larry Birkhead hit on Patti?!).

This week, she talks about setting up R&B icon Chilli, NFL player Jeff Ogden, and more. Check out the latest episode vlog below and watch past episodes here.

Read the full transcription below: 

This week was really good. Chilli from TLC came in, you know 'Waterfalls,' 'Don’t Want no Scrubs,' like I say that to all of my clients. Chilli has dated a bunch of people in the entertainment industry but that really hasn’t worked for her. She’s gorgeous, talented, smart, hilarious. I told her I could set her up but I want her to find a real guy, not someone from the entertainment industry.

My other client this week (who’s coming back from last year) is NFL player Jeff Ogden. He's a really good looking guy. He comes in, he’s single again, he’s ready to go deep and get really serious. He keeps picking the wrong girls. So I get NBA legend John Salley to talk to him. They’ve seen so many crazy things in the pro sports leagues. Jeff just wants a regular girl that he can trust. Salley sets him straight, and we’re off to the mixer!

I usually don’t go along on the date, but today I am. I'm spying on them! What an ---hole!

Candace and David, my assistants, have chosen appropriate daters for each of the people. We put them in the party, then I go around and get under the hood, figure out who’s right, who’s wrong. It’s kind of like recruiting on the spot. This works really, really well. So I end up picking Sebastian and Brian and a lawyer, Felix to meet Chilli. As I thought, she goes for Brian the stunt car driver.

Meanwhile, Jeff gets to meet Jelene and Jessica. Jeff takes Jelene out to meet some kids at the Boys & Girls Club. It’s nonprofit and they get to play some football there. Then he arranges for her to get a professional massage and soak at the spa. Not bad for Jeff.

Meanwhile, Chilli and Brian head out onto their date -- and I’m there, too. I usually don’t go along on the date, but today I am. I’m spying on them! What an a--hole! He told Candace and David that he wanted kids and he told me that he wanted kids! I march over there and Brian’s out. And guess who I’ve got waiting in the wings? My favorite choice: Felix! Fun Felix. Felix takes her out to the Saddle Ranch restaurant. They play pool, they get on the bull and they have a great time.

In the end, sometimes the client doesn’t know what’s best for them. But I always do!

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