Hello and Merry Christmas to you all.
How sweet and poignant it was to see Lisa R. going home and closing the house that held so many memories. Life is punctuated by moments of closure, goodbyes, and hopefully reconciling our past with moving forward into the future.
I had been invited by Kyle to come to her house after many months of little interaction with the group.
I wasn't sure about going to the barbecue, but it seemed as we were attempting to move forward, maybe this was the answer.
I knew arriving as they all greeted us, things might be a little uneasy, but I was with my husband and just hoped for the best.
At this point for me to greet each and every person politely was not a problem. I had been frantically busy and preoccupied and now realized how ridiculous it had been.
Yes, as Brandi says, I understand it's a challenge, and you want something you can't have, but remember, you had it and you threw it away after you trashed it and ran to everyone who would listen.
When Yolanda introduces Eileen Davidson as my friend Eileen, that's funny. I thought you only just met her and she was Lisa R.'s friend, but I understood the message.
I hadn't seen Yolanda except only once for lunch. It was a huge ask to expect somebody to give up two days and one I wasn't comfortable doing.
I think it was vaguely suggested to invite Yolanda, but since Puerto Rico, I had hardly seen her. I have many friends a lot closer, and I was reticent to put that pressure on them.
It was a difficult situation for me going back to that group of women at that barbecue and immediately to be cross questioned by Yolanda in a passive aggressive fashion...I am sure many things have transpired since last year, and I haven't expected to be invited to any of them. As if...it's almost too funny...I know we haven't really spoken since
last year, apart from one brief lunch since we started the season, but would you give up two days of your life in 115 degree-heat and make a speech like every one of my friends did who had known me for years? Um no.
They had all been interacting, and I was on the periphery. They were all enjoying time together, but wow, does that change really quickly as personalies clash, lives become entwined, and tempers flare.
I saw Ken's reticence to engage Brandi, then her saying, "Remember me? You used to love me..." is too funny. Yes he remembers, oh so well...how he would defend her to his detriment. Ken has a similar perspective to me--fiercely loyal to friends, but when they calculatedly try to destroy you, civility is maybe the best you can hope for.
I thought it was a bitchy comment from Kyle saying I hold a grudge. I feel just to engage with many of these women at all shows that I don't, but I am not stupid enough to erase the past. I have the knowledge, and that is what protects me.
This season really gets started next week when all the relationships start finding different levels and opinions differ, some friendships are strengthened and others, well....
I apologize for being so tardy with my blog, as I have been stretched in all directions at our most busy time of year.
I hope you all have a blessed holiday. As always, Love, Lisa.