I feel like my life is falling apart at this moment -- my fiancé won't have sex with me, or marry me, and my sister wants to move out. The perfect world I live in seems to be crumbling down faster than the speed of light.
I won't say I am surprised that Marta wants to move out, as she and Romain have been going at it for a while, and unless they figure things out on their own, I don't think I can be of any help. I see both sides and am sick of being stuck in the middle: one is my blood and the other is my future. I won't lie that it breaks my heart and makes me want to disappear somewhere far away and not have to deal with it sometimes.
This is supposed to be a wonderful time for all of us to appreciate each other and thank God for what we have, and instead it’s high tension everywhere. Between Romain’s citizenship and his 10-year anniversary at Mynt, I feel like the pressure he is going through is taking a huge toll on our relationship. Now, I think Marta sees that, and it makes her resent him even more, but I’m hoping it will all get better. I guess Romain just wants Marta to be more helpful around the house, and I guess Marta just wants more brotherly love from him, like it used to be. Oh well, it is what it is at this point, and I’m not gonna put too much thought into it, and I’ll hope it works itself out…
This week was super important for Romain, since he was celebrating two things: his new American citizenship and 10-Year Anniversary at Mynt. What attracts me to Romain is that we have a similar story: we both emigrated to America with nothing, and worked from the bottom up without giving up for a second, even though there were many times when it would have been easier to just give up than to keep fighting, but we never ever gave up and still don't. I respect him so much more that he built everything on his own instead of being born into a rich family where he would take life for granted. Instead, he treats everyone equally, no matter the size of their wallet. I believe when you work hard for something, that’s when you appreciate it more. Romain and I both have big hearts, and we always make sure to give back, because that’s what makes us happy (especially if it’s for animals or those in need). That is our motto in life: to help as much as we can, because we can't take the money, the cars, or the houses with us when we die; we were put on this earth to help others and not be selfish. That’s what makes me and Romain bond the most. (And the fact that we are living proof the American dream. Don’t ever give up, because it can happen and I still didn't give up, as I have a lot more to accomplish in my life!)
I am also proud to be Polish and also proud to be living in such an amazing country as America, which gives you the opportunities like nowhere else. I thank God every day for being able to live here and to have the career that I love.
When I look back at the night of the Mynt’s 10-year anniversary, I am definitely not happy about the way I acted -- especially letting the alcohol take over, instead of controlling myself. I was hurt by my sister when she said I never defend her to Romain, and that made me extra sensitive that evening, especially after drinking a lot of alcohol at Lisa’s beforehand... I guess I wanted to show Marta that I do love her more than anything, and that she is so important to me, and that I will do whatever it takes to defend her. However, I went a little overboard, and had a major meltdown and tantrum attack, haha!
I feel really bad for the DJ, because there was no reason for me to get that out of hand, but I guess that night I let out how hurt I felt after what he did. But as many times as I said I hate him that night, I want make it clear that I don't hate him. Life goes on, and people breakup all the time. I can't hate everyone that breaks my sister’s heart, because it’s a part of life, and a cycle we all go through (or have been through), and I was just trying to protect my sister.
It’s obvious that Adriana had no idea what the whole meltdown was about, otherwise she wouldn’t make her nasty comment to Romain, suggesting that he reconsider blondes (“they might wake up pretty, but sure are ugly at night”). Well unfortunately this specific brunette is just plain ugly day or night, and I am not talking about her outward appearance. I feel bad for her fiancé, because why is she flirting with mine? No wonder she doesn't wear her engagement ring: maybe he didn't feel she is worthy and never bought her one? She has the nerve to make a comment about me, when here she is, full-on flirting with my man when her fiancé is at home??? She wasn't even wasted, so if I had to choose, I’d rather have a meltdown because I had too much to drink (while protecting my sister) than be sober and hit on other men and disrespect my fiancé because I am just so desperate for attention. Hopefully her man wakes up one day and realizes that she is just a big flirt. He should have more respect for himself.