Cast Blog: #RHONJ

In Vino Veritas

Kathy discusses the truths learned from this week's episode.

I think it’s best for me to pick up where we left off last week -- In vino veritas (in wine, is truth).

Truth: To be perfectly honest, the toast didn’t really bother me all that much. At this point, when it comes to Teresa, even though I always remain optimistic and hopeful that we may find a happier place in our relationship, I have come to not expect too much. I know that is unfortunate, but I also know her tactics, and it’s very clear to me what she was trying to do.

Truth: When I joined everyone in the hot tub, you can see that I really wasn’t that upset. I made a joke about the toast, and we all laughed it off. I was over it. Truth: In the hot tub, where it was just our family, I had the opportunity to tell her how glad I was that she and her brother were getting along and how we all had such a nice time together on this trip.

Truth: When Teresa and I had a chance to talk one on one in the hot tub, all I was trying to do was point out that there is a pattern to her behavior. She has a way of turning her back on relationships that were so dear to her for years. As soon as there was a conflict, she simply no longer had use for friends who have been supportive and had become her family.

Truth: It’s definitely no secret that Caroline doesn’t need anyone to fight her battles, and let’s be completely clear, that’s not what I was trying to do. Caroline happened to be the most current example of what I was trying to explain to Teresa. I really wanted her to see things from another point of view. I thought this was important, especially since both Caroline and Jacqueline have been trying so hard to help her reconcile with her brother.

Truth: I know how they must have felt, because I had been in that same position. I always tried my best to get Teresa and her brother Joey to try and communicate better and to resolve their differences. Joey made a good point when he said that Teresa refuses to consider any other point of view and never sees anything as her fault. She tends to see things in terms of black and white with no middle ground. Either you’re for her or against her. This attitude does not serve her well at all.Truth: In retrospect, I do regret trying to reason with Teresa. It was an exercise in futility. I wanted to see a resolution between everyone in the hopes of leaving all the ill feelings behind in California and going back to New Jersey with a clean slate. Sadly I was mistaken.

Truth: Teresa grabbed my face when she noticed that I was looking into my phone to pull up one of the “In Touch” magazine articles in which she accuses me saying things about her that I’ve never said. Once again, a joke to someone’s face gives everyone the opportunity for an exchange and then it’s over. The written word is so much more powerful and certainly more permanent.

Truth: Under NO circumstance is it OK to put your hands on someone during a discussion! Teresa had gone to a very bad place, and if I had not remained in control when she started to get physical, the evening would have gotten very ugly, very quickly. I really felt sorry for her. Truth: I never once raised my voice or spoke to Teresa disrespectfully, which to me shows that a person has confidence in the point they are trying to make. Conversely, when Teresa started to lose control, it was a sign that she was increasingly desperate in trying to be convincing. I tried to calm the situation. I went and sat next to her so she would not view it as an attack. I didn’t want her to feel that there were sides and my intention was for unity not division. But herein lies the real truth. Nothing I said or did was working and nothing was going to. She would not consider anything I was trying to tell her. Teresa would have nothing of anyone’s attempt to mediate.

Truth: When Joe and Teresa announced they were leaving that evening, I thought it was a wise decision for Joey and Melissa to be with them. Given Joe Giudice’s condition and Teresa’s emotional state, neither one was in any condition to be traveling by themselves. I went in to check on Teresa before they left to help her gather her things and to try and calm her down before they headed out. It was sad that our conversation ended this way. However after seeing what transpired with the men, I can see there were more truths being told that evening.

So where do we go from here?

All I know is, I was looking forward to meeting up with my kids and my sister, Rosie, who flew out to San Francisco a few days earlier. We had so much fun exploring the beautiful California coast.

See you all next week.

As always, you can catch up with me on my website and through my newsletter at, on Facebook, and Twitter @KathyWakile, @RichardWakile, @VictoriaWakile, @JosephWakile.

Lots of love,

xoxo Kathy

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Amber: Is Dina Coldhearted?

Amber Marchese dishes on her first reunion and why Dina Manzo confuses her.

Hello Housewife friends!  Welcome to the jungle baby! My first reunion was a wild ride. Call me sick and twisted, but I had an unbelievable time at the reunion when most, I have been warned, dread it. I felt like it was “The Great Purge” and when I went home I was felt relieved of any built up tension. I don’t care if anyone has a grudge against me, my slate is clean and I harbor no ill feelings towards anyone. I love to argue my point, and I truly stood by all of my convictions this season, so I was ready to say exactly what was on my mind, and then some. 

I know the twins and I went at one another pretty hard, but that is what the reunion is all about. It is an opportunity to get it all out and potentially understand one another's position better. Then we can each make our own decisions as to where we want to go with our relationships. I am very much the type of person that can say some of the meanest things and sling mud, but hug it out at the end forgetting anything negative that was said. It just rolls off my back. I actually think it is healthier to say what needs to be said, and then move on.

One thing I did question after the reunion was if Dina actually has a heart or if I should start calling her the Tin Man. I actually have not figured her out yet. Is she really just a coldhearted bitch, or has she been hurt so many times that she has become warped and jaded. I feel I don’t owe anyone any reason as to why I call cancer “the cancer,” but I will give it once more anyhow. “The cancer” is “the monster” to me. It is a way for me to take away its power and to minimize it. “It” destroys lives, so “it” does not deserve a name. It is just “the cancer” -- it was “the monster” or “the dragon.” Although Dina claims to have an understanding of how devastating cancer is to a family, her actions and blatant lack of empathy proves otherwise.

In addition, I did not think it was appropriate for me to interject into family quarrels at the reunion; however, this is something that I feel strongly about. I have met Jaqueline and I have spoken to her on many occasions. In the very short time that I have gotten to know Jaqueline, I know and have empathy with the struggles she has caring for Nicholas. I felt that Dina’s interpretation of her nephew was callous and completely out of touch with reality. The only thing that keeps playing in my mind is, "You know nothing John Snow."  No, thank God, he is not hooked up to machines with cancer; however, what the Laurita family goes through is extremely difficult on a day to day basis that will continue on for a lifetime. It is emotionally and financially devastating. Although, Dina "visits" children with cancer, at the end of her visit she gets to go home, leaving it behind and goes on with her daily life. Since Dina does work with children with cancer, I pray that she can abstain from a self-absorbed lifestyle and become a loving, involved aunt. 

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