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I have to make this short because it’s a holiday and even though I’m not Jewish I took the day off, went to my shrink, got my nails done with that new gel shellac polish -- it lasts three weeks! -- and bought a pair of shoes. I want to revisit some housewife rules. These are straight out of the Real Housewives Handbook that we received when we signed onto the show. I want to begin with Housewife Rule #13: Desperate times call for dinner.
LuAnn and Ramona and Sonja
Real men cook. I’ve never seen so many male chefs in a kitchen so excited about searing a roast. I know there is a toaster oven joke here somewhere but I’m too tired to find it. Real women, on the other hand, drink. Duh. It’s Housewives.
Housewife Rule #86: When the conversation veers towards something you don’t want to discuss, call in reinforcements.
LuAnn executes this rule in the first scene like a pro. Jacques is at her side with red wine and kisses just as talk turns loud and St. Barth-y. This episode was about mixing and matching the housewives in a number of different combinations to, ideally, cleanse our minds and souls from the horror otherwise known as a tropical island paradise. Some combinations worked better than others.
But first, I’m obsessed with Sonja’s headband, if Olivia Newton John doesn’t ask for it back, I want it. I also want to split the atom. Who did split the atom anyway? In a mushroom cloud of clarity Sonja says what everyone else is thinking. I thought that was Ramona’s job.
Ramona says it takes time to get to know her. How much time does it take? One drink? Three? Six? It took me two. Two beers at our first lunch with Mario and I was already calling her Bunny.
you are a very impressive woman. You held yourself in grace. I am sure a lot of women admire and respect you. I was shocked when you did not support Romona when George was pulling at her arm. Ramona is no angel but once she demanded George not touch her. He should have stopped. No means no! Ramona had the right and should have been supported. George was clearly the aggressor. He was nice to you but he wanted to have sex with you. Did you ever think you may have put yourself in danger siding with him. No man should aggressively grab at a women. What he did was wrong! With all your grace and intelligence condoning a man grabbing a women sends a very dangerous message.
I am a sarcastic person. That being said, you have taken sarcastic to the whole next level! I am not sure any of these ladies are actually your friend. If they are your friend then, ouch! You can't say anything nice about anyone!
you are probably the coolest and smartest in this season. things seem to get ugly fast on these shows. also, i think even though sonja and ramona are overthetop, (you are no dummy and i'm sure have watched the show before). however, aviva is nutso. not just anxiety prone, seriously scarey crazy. if it were me, i'd hide in the corners and just enjoy the food, clothes, music, new york and observe them all. everybody's got problems, but "when i see crazy, i cross the street" as my friend jimmy used to say. p.s. i am so sorry for your losses. it hurts to lose loved ones. i find it good to appreciate it all, the pain, joy, anxiety even. 'cause it all goes by so fast.
you are fun. You remind me of the motto " if you can't say anything nice, be vague" bravo you got that one down! You are way to normal to be on this show sista! :) I love your blog!
I love, love, love you. You are the most down to earth person and I love your laid back philosophy. Keep up the good work!
Please, please, please, never go away leaving us alone with these nuts!! You are simply the best.
Carole, you are by far my favorite housewife. Honestly, why you even signed up to do the show is beyond me. You are nothing like these women. You're extremely intelligent, logical, straightforward, laid back, beautiful, sane and most importantly not dramatic. Kind of the exact opposite of some of your cast mates.
Don't know how you can put up with their antics without losing your cool.
Keep being you.
I think you're pretty great! Refreshing to see "normal" on a reality show. This is sort of funny reading peoples comments. Who knew the whole world should know how to behave except you? LOL! Wishing you the very best Carole!
Carole, I like you, you bring class to the show. Your just adorable. I would like to meet you as the writer you are. You are smart, cute and a real princess. Lovely, don't change!
The classiest funniest and most wonderfully down to earth housewife ever. (And a good writer at that.) Thanks Carole!
Very cool Chic! Love the way you handle yourself. Love the way you stick up for yourself. Just love you!
Hi Carole, I think you're on my best dressed housewife list. Aside from that, I must be watching a different show than your followers. I don't find anything particularly bad about you but you talk about allllll of the housewives, are any of them your friends? I'm sure you're only on the show for publicity purposes, as it is quite a venue to sell your product. However, do you have anything good to say about the ladies?? I guess it wouldn't sell if you were saying nice things.....that must be your style.
Love you Carole! It's like you are the only one in on the joke! The scene with the cigs and Aviva was priceless! PEople need to lighten up and enjoy the new level of Caroleness you have brought to the show. I look forward to watching to see what funny thing you do!
Wow,I know,When Aviva got frazzled about your smoking,what was that?Good thing you didnt pull out a joint,she would have needed medical attention.And getting into your crawl about drinking water?I bet she carries vitamins in her purse.Too bad she couldnt make the whole week of St Barth's.She would had ya exercising,eating veggies,and making ya turn in at 8:00.She needs a serious stick removal
Bonjour Carole: You are so sweet, my god you are like Godiva Chocolate that melts in your mouth. You are definitely the peacemaker of the group, but as a rule the one in the middle usually gets it from both sides; so beware, there are lots of cats in this fight and they all have claws. What is obvious to me is that Aviva vs. Ramona/Sonja needs an impartial referee/moderator so they can wash out their dirty laundry and get the show back to naturally small battle which can be worked out by each other. This is a riff that may cause a spit with the cast that is irreparable. There is no behavior besides giving birth that is exclusively a woman’s body, other things a man should and could do! When I am with the guys all they want to do is drink, bowl and watch the woman that is fine but not all the time, women do so many more interesting things together. Just keep up being who you are that is very exciting in and of itself. Hunter
grayfox007 I don't think Carole is a peace maker. Genuine peacemakers care about the feelings of all parties and take the time to understand them.
The night Ramonja didn't go to Russ's concert she judged they were sneaking off to drink. They felt unwelcome by all the women by this time. For Heaven's sake, even on the trip to the concert she put them in a separate vehicle.
Does no one else notice these things?
ROHNY is my guilty pleasure. and you reassure me that that's okay, because you actually make sense of all this nonsense. This is the only blog that i read regularly. You seem to be the only one who can make lemonade out of this curiosity that we call RHONY. Your blog is a humorous and objective look at on the absurdities of NY women (very few housewives amongst you) who are or think they are rich. I sense that if the other women, Heather excluded, had a more vibrant "other life" they wouldn't need to pander to the camera so much.
I never read the Real Housewives' blogs, EVER! However, I very much enjoy reading Carole's. She is such a wonderful writer and her blogs reflect with clarity. She is my favorite.
Carole, I love your blogs and your sense of humor! I have the same sarcastic sense of humor and its gets me into trouble all the time, but I can't help it, we are who we are! Aviva gives me a headache, that woman has sooo many phobias she should stay locked in her house. She lectured you about diet coke and cigarettes like you were her child, seriously she sounded like Ramona over the leg issue, if its not your business let it go we are all adults and are capable of making our own decisions. You are able to recognize everyone for their individual personalities and I love that you don't call them out but write about them and you are a fabulous writer by the way. You have a good friend in Heather and if I were you I would kick Aviva to the curb she has too much baggage and always wants to be the center of attention with her neurosis! Ramona gets on my nerves but give Sonja a break she is really more accepting of everyone unless of course they come after her, and she is not intentionally trying to hurt anyone, but she does like to have a good time which is perfectly fine....I would love to spend time with her!
You are my favorite. You are sweet, kind, funny, and an excellent writer. The women did not thank you for the trip to St. Barths, but instead only found things to complain about. You provided them with a stunning $40 million house in paradise with a chef, butler, and other staff to take care of all of their needs. The house and the island were big enough to allow for a variety of activities -- some with men, some without.
As a hostess, you are not required to babysit or mother grown women or scold errant behavior. You are not a camp director who must assign activities to campers. (Although giving out merits and demerits could have been amusing.) I have been on many trips with a mixture of adults, and everyone found the people they wanted to be with and the activities they wanted to do.
Your guests made "mountains out of molehills." None of their crises were important compared to real crises. A real crisis is a death of a loved one, a war, the holocaust. Going on a double date, swimming topless, dancing at a nightclub, meeting your boyfriend -- these are not crises, but your guests acted like they were.
As a producer for ABC, you have been to war zones like Cambodia and the Middle East. You lost your husband to cancer and your dearest friends in a plane crash. You know what real suffering is. I feel sorry for the other women who are rich and spoiled and petty.
Out of all of the toasts given, they should have toasted you for the completion of your book and your invitation to them to come with you to the Caribbean. So let me say congratulations on your novel!
I can't wait to read it. Good luck!
Not only are you a snappy dresser, but I enjoy watching how you interact with the other ladies this season. You're smart to stay wayyyy under the radar with this group. How do you and Aviva have anything in common? She is an odd duck. Good job on the blog.
As a former drinker I can say that drinking is a problem if you hurt someone or yourself. Like verbal abuse or physical abuse. Merely annoying someone doesn't count. Why carole or Adiva find their drinking offensive speaks volumes to their live and let live attitude. Everyone wants the others to conform to their standards. They want to control others, pass judgement so they feel better about their own faults. It's true that 24/7 changes your view about someone but it is pathetic to cry about it after th fact. Try to work it in your ability to see the full balance of what people are... not good or bad but basically human. Carole, your ramblings have lost me. It's Ok to be wrong and still find the fullness in yourself. I always tell myself "OK that went wrong but next time I will do things differently or at least try". I would suggest this all to Adivabut I really don't think she is capableof intellingent conversation at a mature level. Anyway I love most of your blogs.
Carole, I love reading your blog and the fact that it is always right on target with lots of humor sprinkled on top! You have to promise to come back!!! Please, you are the only hope for the RHNY!!!
In the "Case of Carole Should Admonish Aviva" (for being an out-of-control Control Freak in SB), does the expression BEATING A DEAD HORSE ring true to anyone here?
It's over, People. You didn't see every second, every word that went down. Aviva was Aviva, can't take it back... if you think it was Carole's problem or responsibility . . . fine. But it is futile to continue berating Carole for what you may think she should have done with Aviva... we all have a certain level of personal responsibility, and the fact is you can't control or change others, only the way in which you choose to respond to others.
Watching is my Guilty Pleasure... I enjoy seeing NYC, where I used to live... it doesn't have to be a Free-for-All for me to be entertained.
ProudENFP I agree with your ENFP thoughts. I'm a fellow E-INFP and still live in NY. You're so right about the great local color of RHONY! It's one of the many reasons I like it so much (also RHOBH).
When the show began I really didnt like you. You are cool in a face to face setting, but you ripped the other girls to shreds in the confessional. And WHAT was it with you and LuAnn?? Luann who didn't give a second thought to you for awhile it seemed she was all you could think off. Jealousy maybe? I have no idea. But I gained a respect for you when you called Aviva out at the dinner "don't" you told her when she tried to spark a new fight at the dinner table. Then "that's not a good quality" when she told you how relentless she could be when she was mad. I was like "whoa!' what a way to handle something. Soft spoken but strong you put things together. You stock rose so highly for me that evening.
But I'm reading the other posters and they're right. You criticize EVERYONE else but yourself. You create an aura of being above it all, but you are sitting there watching it soooo intently.
I'm bothered again now by how you could treat sonja the way you have. How could you watch this show. SEE how nutty aviva was behaving and not say "oops i was wrong?". The reason ramonja didn't join you to the concert is probably because they saw you taking sides. And the wrong side. And it's unfortunate that whatever happened has allowed a rift to grow between you and sonja. And I'm sure ( based off of the way you and she are taking jabs in confessional) that something happened that we will see very soon.
If it's not clear I think America will be on Sonja side. I sure am.
Carole - I adore everything about you. What some see as woman not confrontational enough, I see as a woman who doesn't get bogged down with nonsense - such as women fighting. What is more menial than breaking up fights between grown women?
OMG - I love you! I can't believe the haters here. Let's break it down: 1. You are not an uptight snob. 2. You don't make people address you as princess Carole like the countess..... 3. You eat M&Ms, hate water, drink diet coke and smoke pink cigs-how can't you not love that? 4. You mock Luanne - I loved it when she copied everything you did in London and then you in turn did it to her :) this was the best!!!! Luanne is so clueless and classless. My husband and I laughed so hard. 5. You are funny, witty and don't take everything soooo seriously! 6. I think hanging out with you would be so much fun! I love fashion and you have taste. 7. Plain and simple - you are awesome!!!!!!
Minxypuma Can the word "hater" be officially retired or used in proper context? Carole has put her life out there on a reality show and she writes a blog. Viewers watch the show, read the blog, and are invited to comment. The comments here for the most part are thoughtful opinions without vulgar language or obscenities. We are entitled to think differently!
How do you ever keep a straight face with those woman talking. Sonja's dog, Aviva with her opinion of a red carpet welcome. When they are carrying on, I watch your face and I bet you just want to laugh at them...
I loved the scene when you left the bar with Heather and said, "Don't we live in the greatest city?" You and your metabolism, leather pants, cherry bombs, sexy boyfriend and greatest city...it's all awesome. I hope you take all the negative comments here with your characteristic breeze. Life is so much bigger than all this silliness.
Still, thanks for the silliness.
Hey Carole, wow! Pink cigarettes!! Makes me want to take smoking back up! You, me and Carrie Bradshaw could smoke a few out on the fire escape . . . ahh, now there's a NY moment! Hugs,
Starting 2 agree with you...Sonja and Ramonas drinking on vacation is major talk for the new girls but what about Carole and Heather in the bar..I counted at least 3 different shots going on...
@pattiegc @music Couldn't Carole and Heather lighten up in St Barths and have their drinks and shots there? Nope! Too weird for me.
timbun pattiegc music The footage only showed Sonja tipsy twice and never Ramona . They were not drinking any more than the others. It was just accusations that were unfounded and started by Jill in seasons past. Like Aviva saying Ramona was drunk that last evening. Ramona acted more sober than all of the others.
I've like you from the beginning, but you've mentioned being a "Size Queen" at least twice now. Am I misunderstanding how you mean that? To me it's the same as a man publicly announcing "I'm a Breast Man," potentially hurtful to the less well-endowed. (I think my earlier post on this was censored, don't mean to push the point.) Just wondering. You seem kinder than that.
redsetter People like what they like. Is it bad for a guy to say he's attracted to certain body parts? I don't think so.