Dorinda: Let Ramona be Ramona

Dorinda opens up on her relationship with John and tells us what she thought of being in the middle of brunchgate. 

This episode was draining. So much happening, too, it’s exhausting.

I know everyone was thinking it was literally a battle of two brunches. Let me clear with this: It was a classic power struggle with two grown women with big personalities staking their territory. Listen, there was a bit of the tension before everyone met up at Luann’s, and it all came to a head. I personally had no skin in this game, but for some reason, I was clearly positioned as a talking point and negotiating tool. Whatever…it’s all good.

Brunch was awkward, to say the least. I was hoping all the girls would show up, so we would have a chance to really get to know one another before I left for the city, but the fact that they didn't neither ruined nor altered my plans. Thank you, Ramona, for a wonderful weekend, and thank you for the "lunch in my honor” (I think), but I had a life to get back to…

That said, the weekend was great. I got to meet all the girls, spend time with them, and I managed to leave without any battle wounds! Cheers to me! (Just give me some extra Worcestershire sauce right away…)

OK, OK, OK…hold the phone. Literally. My lunch with John at Gina’s is a moment that illustrates something I feel really passionate about. Was I angry? No. Annoyed? You can’t possibly imagine. I am quite relaxed about a lot of things but a total stickler about others. And bad manners is a real trigger.

I am always excited to take some time out and meet John up for a lunch or a drink, if our paths can cross between meetings and errands. It’s true, we don't live together, and we don’t see each other every day, but because of that, I want to make the most of our time together. I love him, and he makes me happy. Many factors in our lives—work, family, friends, friends, exhaustion and, in my case, Hannah—keep our lives pretty damn separate. I don't see him every day, so to steal away an hour or two on a weekday for lunch is both fun and kind of exciting.

Guys, when you’re out with a date, whether it’s a girlfriend of two years or a wife of 20 years, PLEASE be present! This means NO PHONE (I repeat: NOOOOO PHOOOOOOOONE), unless it is an emergency or your deal is going to collapse if you don’t take the bitch’s call, OK? Let’s face it, we aren't doctors working in an ER or in a maternity ward delivery babies. We deserve some quiet and some focused time together. Come on, guys. Be gentlemen. Leave the wheeling and dealing for the cab ride back to the office. If this isn't doable, then lunch isn’t doable. Quick little snippets of small talk between telephone distractions—calls or texts or otherwise—do NOT a happy lunch make. If that’s what’s going down during my lunch, then you’re going down, too. To be honest, I’d rather take an hour to browse Bergdorf’s and get a falafel on the way home. Thank you.

The food was great though (#shrimpsalad). You're welcome.

Bethenny invited me to see the new apartment on Twitter on Tuesday night, and I’m so excited. Looks like a really great pad. B knows what she wants, how she wants it, and when she wants it. I admire that tremendously. I need her to come up to the Berkshires with me and help me shake things up. I think her new SoHo apartment is even nicer than the TriBeCa apartment from the pictures I’ve seen. I’m can’t wait to go visit.

Oh, Ramona… Finding herself, distracting herself, dating to just have fun and get out there. I totally approve and think it’s great for her. She’s a gorgeous woman and needs to be seen and be told that. Often! People need to worry about what’s going on in their own backyard before snooping around Ramona’s front porch. Let Ramona be Ramona, and get on with it. This end-of-an-marriage thing is a process, and even though she has made the decision to move forward with the divorce, it can and may be a long process that will have its ups and downs. Hey, listen up: NYC lawyers are going to be involved, and there is no money in a quick divorce. Buckle your seatbelt, get a lot of rest, because this is just the beginning.

And now…the singles night at Beautique.

The Beautique restaurant is great for business dinners, first dates, and for a chic couple’s night out. It’s definitely a place to see and be seen. The back room, however, the Beautique Club, is a playground for singles and the glamorous singles. I knew John was going that night for a business dinner, but I have to admit, I had no idea he was going to slip through the dark kitchen corridor and down the rabbit hole to the back room club. As I watched, I was not happy about it, and I remembered how annoyed and surprised I felt when Ramona called me and told me. But, I trust John, and I believe it was innocent. After all, we’ve been together for two years, and I know John. John loves people and loves to be out and about. I get it. I just wish he would try to keep it try gender-neutral and not always have a female colleague that I don’t recognize with him. Too much to ask? I think not.

If it feels shady or wrong, and you might give people the opportunity to talk negatively about it, just don't do it. 

Dorinda Medley

My philosophy is simple: If it feels shady or wrong, and you might give people the opportunity to talk negatively about it, just don't do it. Fair, right? I wish he understood this better. In fact, I wish a lot of people understood this better. People love to talk and loooooooooooove to stir the pot. Why give them a pot to stir in the first place? Remember: If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck. I know John is no duck, but not everyone else does.

I will say this, though: The girls came out in full force for me. Especially Lady Morgan. I really, really, REALLY appreciate that. Loyal girlfriends rock! I love my girls.

Anyway, I need a nap, because I’m already anxious about what’s coming up next week.

Have a great weekend! MUAH!

All Posts About: Dorinda Medley

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