Cast Blog: #RHOC

True Embarrassment

Vicki explains how she feels after the bunco fight.

My thought on the never-ending bunco episode is "true embarrassment." Am I disgusted at myself and how I lost my temper with Gretchen and Slade? One word -- absolutely!

I felt, after watching this week's episode, Gretchen and Slade were both just trying to make a case for their innocence for Slade's past child support issues. Fact is, once they found out that Brooks had been arrested for back child support several years ago, they felt it was a way to make Slade look better or equal by bringing Brooks into it.  

Instead of questioning Brooks directly, they decided to attack me when I was most vulnerable and going through a very rough time in my life. I guess the saying that some people love kicking you when your down is true with Slade. Class, integrity, and character are something you cannot buy or wish for. . .you either have it or you don't and for Slade to do what he did in front of 300 people was disgusting and made me very sad.The issue with Slade and myself stems back all the way to Season 1 seven years ago when he was dating Jo. He lied about dating Lauri after Jo and him broke up, and he treated all the ladies like we were second class citizens or beneath him. I have kept trying to see the "good" in Slade and move on, however he just keeps stirring things up. Why does he continue to stir up trouble? What other man does that to women?

When Tamra and I called Slade a deadbeat dad several years ago, it was because of him bashing us on and off camera and it was our way of getting back to him where it hurt.

Brooks has never, nor would he ever, verbally attack a woman. . .EVER. One word comes to mind that I think Slade should consider is -- chivalry. Where I come from and how I was raised, men are to treat women with respect and class. This is something Slade doesn’t seem to be able to do. You either have it or you don't. Slade you might want to take some lessons from Brooks, Jim, Eddie, Terry, and the previous male RHOC-ers who have never verbally attacked a women. I really think he thrives on the drama so he gets more airtime.

This season the ladies tend to gang up on Alexis for no reason. She clearly admitted on getting her nose fixed when the sinus surgery was being done, so therefore I don't know why they continued with the conversation. It's like some of them just sit there and figure out ways to belittle and hurt people. I hated that for Alexis because no one defended her, which was wrong. If Gretchen were a true friend, she would have done that.

It was nice seeing Briana and Donn having a beer with each other at her home. I'm so proud of Briana that she has realized how important it is to have a relationship with Donn. If there is one good thing that has come from our separation is that as they were not previously close and now they are. It's definitely hard seeing them joke, laugh, and have fun together -- it reminds me of the good times we all had together as a family and makes me sad.

In spite of my flaws of being a parent, I am proud of who Briana and Mike have become as adults. They are hard workers, have respect for authority, integrity, a sense of humor, morals and core values, which people love to be around.

Hearing Gretchen and Briana both say, "things tend to turn out to be about Vicki" was hurtful. I would never ignore other people's feelings or concerns, nor can I ignore my own. I am a very emotional and passionate person and when it comes to my children or my family's health I'm even more so. Briana has been sick for over three years with no real diagnosis, so the decision to go ahead to have her thyroid removed was a very emotional one. Once that vital organ is removed from your body, there is no turning back. The thought of Briana having cancer terrified me. She has so much life ahead of her, and I don't want this to be something that she had to endure right now. I don’t know of any other parent who wouldn't feel the same way as I did.

I am in NYC and just finished visting US Weekly, Bravotv.com, and a radio tour. I will be on Watch What Happens Live with Andy on Tuesday night (3/13) so be sure to stay up late and watch if you can.

I have received so many amazing messages from my fans thanking me for inspiring them to get into the insurance business or simply take control of their finances. My advice is always to pay yourself first, save at least 10 percent of your paycheck, save for retirement, be in control of your own financial future while not depending solely on someone else, and always spend less than you make. If you follow these rules, you will never get yourself into a financial disaster.

My book More than a Housewife has been getting rave reviews and I thank all of you who say that your have learned from it and felt a little bity closer to me because of reading it. If you haven't purchased it yet, please visit my website to purchase it.

For those of you that would like any advice on 401K rollover information, a free review of your current life insurance plan, or a new policy altogether please visit my website at VickiGunvalson.com for more information.

And lastly, Tamra and I are so excited to announce the launch of our new company "Wines by Wives.'  This is a wine club membership that will ship you two bottles of wine per month that have been chosen by us from all over the world. Please visit our website at www.winesbywives.com for more information and join the club!

Enjoy the rest of your week and thank you for watching.

Love,

Vicki Gunvalson

xoxo

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Lizzie on That Kentucky Fried Nickname

Lizzie weighs in on Tamra's nickname for her -- and opens up about her body issues.

We have finally made it to the Reunion and I am happy to say I survived my first season of Housewives. . .Well almost. Next week is Part 2 of the Reunion and I have to admit I pretty much left in tears. I am not a large part of this week’s reunion, but I would like to take this week’s blog and focus on female bullying and body image. As women, I think it is our job to build each other up. We are all mothers, sisters, and daughters. There are so many body image issues among young women and I write this blog for any woman who has had insecurities about her body. If it talks to any of you than it will not have been a waste of time.

I am sure everyone is aware of Tamra's nickname for me, "Kentucky Fried Titties." When I first heard her call me this I thought, "Nah, I won’t even give it energy."  It really is trashy and frankly low-class. However, it was a trigger for me and it really touched on something that I had been self conscious of for my entire life. It sounded exactly like the pre-pubescent boys in my middle school P.E. class. "Hey Lizzie, can I get some fries with that shake." The girls would snicker, "Lizzie's sprouting!!" I grew up hearing a lot of derogatory names targeted at my large chest. I was the girl in fourth and fifth grade that cried when friends had pool parties and wore T-shirts over my swimsuit to cover up my chest. My mom's friends would laugh and say, "One day you will love your assets." But I was always self-conscious.

I grew up dancing and cheerleading and finding uniforms and dance recital costumes was always such a struggle for me. I literally thought about quitting just because of my boobs -- I was so self-conscious and embarrassed. Thank goodness I have such a loving mother that made me feel so much more important than that and didn't let me walk away from something I loved because of body image issues. Even when I started competing in beauty pageants the swimsuit competition was a big thing for me to over come. Some mothers assumed my mom bought me implants at 15. My boobs have always been "up for discussion." At Miss Teen USA, I had to have a special seamstress come in and sew cups in my BodyGlove competition suit because I was bouncing all over when I walked. When I competed in Miss USA, I also had to call in a special seamstress to alter my competition bikini top so it fit my little back and large chest. And, as many of you naturally larger chested women know; real boobs do not "stay put." After I moved to Los Angeles to pursue an acting career I found myself victim to my large chest yet again. I would only be called in for "Hot Girl #2" and roles like that. How could anyone take me seriously with these 34DDD natural boobs at age 21? I had a college degree. I graduated top of my class, I was so much more than "Hot Girl #2", or so I thought.

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At age 23, I couldn’t take it anymore, I cried enough over being insecure about my body. It was time to do something about it. I talked to my mom and she took me for my first breast reduction. It was the best thing I ever did. I felt free! It felt so great to go swimsuit shopping and to buy dresses that I didn't have to wear a minimizing bra with! I can honestly say it was the best thing I could have done for myself. I am 5'7" and I always had boobs, so one thing I didn't want to do is get rid of them completely. I still wanted to feel like me and keep some of my natural curves. Perhaps going 34D wasn't small enough or maybe I just have incredible growing breast tissue. Whatever the case, my boobs were huge again six years later. I decided to have another breast reduction right before my wedding. I was the perfect size. Not too big and not too small. . .and then I had kids. So, now I have very large boobs again. I will probably get another reduction when I am done having children, but we want more kids so now is not the time. I guess God wants me to have big boobs! So, excuse me everyone for finally embracing my body.

I know some of you are probably thinking, "Oh poor Lizzie and her big boobs." But it was a real thing to me and I think as women we all struggle with insecurities. We have all struggled with body image issues at least one time in our lives. I have always been a big believer in beauty shining from within. Think about it. How many people do you know that have such beautiful personalities that it shines through and makes me them even more gorgeous human beings? How easy is it to overlook an attractive person who is mean and ugly inside? People start looking like their personalities sooner or later.

How does all this translate into adult female relationships? I think there are many similarities. I think it has a lot to do with self-esteem, acceptance, and respect for others.

I am sure there are tons of people that applaud Tamra for her name calling of me, or of Alexis when Tamra coined the term "Jesus Jugs." I see nothing more than a 47-year-old bully when I see Tamra. I see bullying. Tamra didn't just call me a name in a fit of anger. She made up the name and announced in her interview. Later, she announced on Watch What Happens Live. My question is why? Why is she so proud of this name? (Which, I have to be honest, I have heard before, it’s not even original.) What kind of message does this send to young women? I don't have girls, but I have nieces and I would never want to teach them to be "mean girls." This may seem trite, but I always felt sorry for the bully. Why do they act like that? It always seemed like bullies have a difficult time connecting with people in meaningful ways and thus use relationships for manipulation. Look, if we can put someone on TV and afford them fortune and fame for being a bully, we are exalting that poor behavior, and sadly we as a society give it life.

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