Kristen Doute

Kristen tells all about Tom's painful decision to walk away and her subsequent hookup with 21-year-old James.

on Feb 140

This Reunion was like the end to an era for our group. One year ago, I never would have pictured my life the way that it is now.

In mid-November, Tom had gone out with friends one night and didn't come home. After waking up several times throughout the night/morning, he suddenly appeared in bed around 10 am. After finding a photo booth strip on our living room floor of he and Ariana, I went through his phone (not proud) and found all of the evidence that I needed to prove that he was at her house around 7 am. I asked him simply what he did the night before, why he didn't come home, and if he was with Ariana. As you can imagine, he lied. He claimed he did not see her and was at Scheana's all night. Why lie if there is nothing to lie about? My heart sunk. After a lot of tears and some arguing, he finally admitted the truth and that they had once again "kissed." Now that time has passed, the details of their affair aren't as important, but I know in my gut that it was more than a kiss.

Pathetically, I continued to convince myself that this was something we could work through when Tom put the final nail in the coffin and broke up with me. Over the course of the next few weeks, we were hot and cold. . .still living together and I was in complete denial about our breakup. He still needed to borrow my car, get rides to places and once in a while we would go out together with our friends. I convinced myself that if I gave him the space that he had asked for, he would eventually miss me and we would get back together.

As you can imagine, I was a wreck. I battled with knowing that this was probably for the best and convincing myself that he was the one for me. I want to take a second to thank Shay and especially Scheana for selflessly being the most amazing friends to me during this time. As hard as it was for Scheana to be in the middle man position, she didn't condone the cheating and was there for me at the drop of a hat. A few weeks after the break up, Tom packed a few bags and started staying with Scheana and Shay. I think this was partially to take his space away from me and also to reiterate that we were really over. As I said at the Reunion, the only thing I can thank Tom for is leaving. Out of sight, out of mind was really the only way that I would be able to start becoming independent and be strong enough to be without him.

202 comments
RobsLady
RobsLady

Kristen, This is late in the game but you kicked butt. Anyone that thinks Tom wasn't doing more with that crazy woman is a fool. 

Quit drinking though, bet you were drunk/high with Jax and every other time, you ALL drink too much! Katie is a hot mess. 

Hope you're doing GREAT!

kraz
kraz

Kristen

YOU ARE ALL TOO OLD TO BE ACTING THIS WAY IT IS TIME TO GROW UP..  I can't believe you hooked up with a young bus boy.  Seriously???  and announce it on tv..  Can you just be by yourself..  Get the help you need..  Keep you pants on ...  You are going  catch something or give something..  Time to get a real job.  Yes a big girl job you are in your 30's..  You live through love and heart ache if it meant to be it will.  But with Tom its NOT...  Quit smoking start eating and go to college..GoodLuck

boadecia1
boadecia1

You were the only one to own any responsibility.  You owe yourself and Tom explanations for why you behaved the way you did.  At this point, you really just owe it to yourself.  I hope you take time to take stock and think about why you behaved the way you did.  Why you hung on to a bad relationship.  Why you felt the need to completely destroy it. I wish the best for you.  I think the rest of the goof balls at SUR were incredibly hard on you.

dmajor
dmajor

who cares?  You need professional help! 

megelizabethxo
megelizabethxo

I'm actually impressed with the way you've hadled youself in a terrible situation. I don't condone or support cheating but it does happen and sometimes when your in a relationship that consumes you and is very on and off it's hard not to feel something for someone else who has been there. You and Tom were terrible together - but let's not plague Tom as the victim! He cheated MANY times on her and ended up dating one of the girls he cheated on her with! I hope the best for you and that you can move forward and leave Tom in the past. In terms of Stassi hating you - sorry but I totally understad that .

imk505
imk505

Ariana's outfit on the Reunion though? What was that all about? She looked at least a decade older than the other girls. 

taniasveta
taniasveta

Tom acted 'cool' when Kristen admitted to hooking up with Jax...because it opened the door for him to dump her and openly get together with Ariana while acting like a 'good' guy. Tom was working on a project to 'justify' his breaking up with Kristen. Ariana was on his ear whispering ugly things about Kristen yet Tom praised her as if Ariana behaved in a great manner compared to Kristen...is calling Kristen bipolar and crazy as sign of 'great' posture for Ariana? Tom, you are a snake just like Ariana.  

Kimberly07
Kimberly07

Kristen, I was actually embarrassed for Ariana while watching the reunion. Although he was holding her hand he was staring at you and hanging on to every word you said. She actually looked like a fool sitting there holding his hand while he was clearly watching, still jealous about you and James. Their little display of affection looked almost rehearsed and forced. So you made a mistake with Jax. Tom made mistakes too. Keep your head up and keep moving forward.

gabbyval
gabbyval

I am sorry....Am I watching the same show as everyone else??  My God,  Kristen is not the underdog, innocent ooor victim here....She has been so involved in everyones business the last two seasons, trying to make it about her. Then this season she behaved so badly and made such an ordeal about a kiss that happened three years ago while the whole time she knew what she was guilty of?? Where is the conscience there???  Tom isnt inocent but how can anyone compare what he did to what she has done.  Sorry but Not only did she sleep with his best friend, twice, but her hypocritical behavior in playing victim all season long, treating Ariana and Tom  like dirt was evil. Down right disgusting!  But because she cried on the reunion, she is poor Kristen????? I am not saying she doesnt deserve to learn and grow and become a better person from all of this. I am just saying It wasnt ok and her behavior even now and how she treats Ariana and Tom, acting as if they did the same thing.is ridiculous!!!  Its not even close!! If she is going to take full accountability then I would have more respect but even now she is treating them as if they betrayed her to take away some of her guilt.  Kristen needs to grow up clearly.  Go back and watch the last two seasons and see the things she said and did... tell me then if you think there isnt an emotional behavior problem?  But she certainly isnt the only one!!!  They all need to grow up!!!! Starting with Stassi...

kekekinz1
kekekinz1

I can't say I agree with the things you did but you are the only person on the show that was genuine at the reunion and owned up to everything.


As for Ariana... hypocrite much? Her opinion on what you lied about is invalid considering she lied about messing around with Tom almost the whole season even to her best friend's face. Maybe it wasn't as serious as what you did but a liar is a liar. She can take her two cents and shove it.

AwShux
AwShux

What you need it time. And a very good therapist. You are a hot friggin mess. STILL. And I'm basing that on this most recent blog post. Get help. 

mktyler
mktyler

Kristen, Everyone makes mistakes, don't be too hard on yourself. You have so much going for you just hold your head high and move on. I hate how Stassi likes to make such big issues about all this and won't shut up, maybe she will grow up. You probably didn't want to admit the deal with Jax, because of the embarrassment and you were probably drinking when it happened that doesn't help the situation. I can tell you are a very good person and by no means you are not crazy. Don't dwell on this too long, forget it and live for today.

IBGDog
IBGDog

Kristen, chin up girl.  Time will heal and you will be able to look back and remember without pain. Hopefully there were some lessons learned and isn't that what life's all about?  I don't think you value yourself very much based on your decisions to let other people take advantage of you and your own self destructiveness.  You are a beautiful girl who obviously does have a heart.  Move onward and upward!

promotepeace
promotepeace

Neither you nor Tom should be in a relationship this soon after breaking up. You are both on the rebound & need time for your hearts to heal. I felt sorry for you at the reunion, it is evident you feel a great deal of remorse. Unlike Stassi who kept wiping her eyes & there wasn't a single tear! The only award that girls ever going to get is for worst actor ever!

30Rocker
30Rocker

There were obviously numerous betrayals on both Kristen and Tom's parts.  For Kristen to spend so much of her blog counting who betrayed the other when, and how many times sadly shows she has not learned anything from this life lesson.  First and foremost, you must be accountable for your actions.  Secondly, look inside yourself and ask why did I betray my boyfriend, and my best friend?  It has nothing to do with what Tom or anyone else did; it stems from what is missing in yourself Kristen.  What are your past hurts, that still go unhealed?  Where does your self-hate stem from?  When you can find your worth as a person, you will treat yourself, your loved ones, and everyone in your life with love and compassion. Peace and happiness to you in the future!

MissLuvRealityTV
MissLuvRealityTV

Kristen all I can say is life goes on! You are not the first to have a devastating event in your life. We will never get the full story of what caused you to make the choices you made but it's over with. I do think you need to get some help to get through the pain, self-esteem and other issues so you can come out brand new. Start over and put it behind you and stop beating yourself up over it.

grams
grams

Kristen i'm so sorry you had to go though that horrible show. what i notice is when tom look at you,it was with a lot of love in his eyes,hurt but still love.i think you and tom will get back together soon or later,so while you wait keep your head up high and proud.when stassi  leaves the show it will be easier.good luck on what ever career you pick,hope we will still see you on sur? hold your head up high.love you.ej in las vegas.

phillyb
phillyb

Kristen - You slept with Jax, Tom just kissed Ariana, yes both wrong because you were in a relationship.  You made such an idiot of yourself about Tom and Ariana when you did soooo much worse!  Sleeping with your boyfriends best friend is the lowest!  I'm not sure why that wasn't brought up during the reunion, unless I missed it.  You need to get yourself together........you can be a wonderful person without having to have a significant other!

Uzo
Uzo

It was hard not to notice Peter rushing over to kiss Kristen on the lips at the end of the reunion.  Wonder if they're making up for lost time now that Kristen is sowing her royal oats to all the good looking food and beverage men of Hollywood.  

Realfanhouse
Realfanhouse

Kristen, you & Tom both cheated. You are not better than he is, and he is no better than you. 


lynnwhitlock
lynnwhitlock

Kristin, 

Can't believe you really trust Schema as a true friend. She is a total classless, needy, wannabe, fame seeking at any cost HO. And tell her Stassi doesn't even care. 


You need to find some REAL genuine friends.  BTW.  Tell Sheana to take a math class.  If Brandi's son is 6 and she was with Eddie while she was 9 month pregnant that makes 6 years.  Not a decade.  Her boyfriend is in for misery.


lynnwhitlock
lynnwhitlock

Wow!  You need help. Try growing up, working on yourself and stop being co-dependent or you will NEVER be happy.   


P.S.  Schema not condoning cheating?  Did you really say that?

trarenee
trarenee

This too shall pass.  We all make mistakes.  The only thing I don't like is the fact that now that you don't have Stassi in your life all of a sudden Scheana is such a good friend.  It just goes to show that you and Katie were Stassi's puppets and did whatever she told you two to do. 

DawnfromMinneapolis
DawnfromMinneapolis

I'm glad your done with Tom the cheater!!!  I think the only reason you hooked up with Jax's is because of Tom's lies and drinking causes people to do crazy things.  I think Tom will cheat on Arianna too!!!

Good luck on your acting and I hope you get picked for a 'real' show soon.

I'm also so glad Stassi is gone from the show.

@cate444
@cate444

That was one of the saddest things I have ever had to watch on TV. I was so angry at Andy Cohen for asking digging questions when Kristen was already breaking. This is all for fame and money!!. Who knows what is real and what is not real. But it looked pretty real to me,and it seemed pretty disgusting, exploitive and sad. These are wanabee actors who are allowing their lives to be played out like a trainwreck for money and fame. Some came off better than others. But at the end of the day you have young people who have alot of growing up to do. What makes if more volatile is the cameras, the temptations of Hollywood and the superficial place that they work at.

Sammy59
Sammy59

@lillykins - Well said and I totally agree. Kristen stay strong and remember only you walk in your shoes, don't ever doubt yourself and be proud of the woman you are now. Best of wishes and looking forward to seeing you evolve even further next season. As far as I'm concerned Tom drove you to your actions with his serial cheating and lack of respect for you with flaunting his so called 3 year friendship with Ariana. Jax took advantage of you in your time of need and insecurity because he knew what Toms secrets were, like the vulture he is waited for the moment to pounce, all the while professing his love for stassi.

It's amazing that Tom stated he would have maybe even hugged Jax if he had come clean, but treated you the way he did. Maybe they still have a chance at friendship and then Jax may have a chance to pounce on Ariana once Tom show his true colors to her and makes her feel like she's crazy too. Ariana lied to her friend Sheana and boss as well about her involvement with Tom but no one is questioning her morals. As for stassi (DUMB) and katie (DUMBER), not even worth mentioning any further.

joanne.poccia
joanne.poccia

Hey Kristen you and Tom way over when you BOTH started cheating on each other. Tom now wants to play the victim so you look bad.  You both look bad for only one reason you both were trying to hold onto a bad relationship between the two you.  Move on you were not meant to be together.  You will find someone else.  Take it slow this time.


sweet615
sweet615

OMG  cant stand the blonds on this show.  Looking forward to hearing about him cheating on the new girl :)  they dont change

lillykins
lillykins

Kristen honestly don't let people make you doubt yourself. You are not crazy! When a person is being lied to it makes a person feel crazy because hey are being told something that goes completely against what their intuition & inner knowing is telling them. When you love someone you want to believe them! It is a painful lesson on learning to trust your own knowing. Yes there were betrayals from all sides! But it seems the whole load is being dumped on your lap. I feel you are a genuinely caring person who is honestly remorseful! You just got caught up in a jealous web that turns one inside out & knocks a person completely off of their center! Many of us have been there & it is not a rational process....... Stassi & Jax  still seem like a good pair to me because they both appear to be equally heartless & self centered. Katie is only an extension of Stassi...... good luck to you!

dmajor
dmajor

how can anyone believe a word you write?

FLOFRMKY
FLOFRMKY

Go Kristen   good for you.  If anyone believes it was just a kiss come on they live under a rock.  At least you finally admitted what you did Tom on the other hand thinks lying will make it so.  Get on with your life and leave him to the fake braid no class blonde.  The deserve each other and the misery they will eventually give each other.  The way everyone treated you was shameful  because each and everyone on that show has done the same thing or just as bad.  Good luck to you and stay strong may they all eat your dust .

debmerc888
debmerc888

Kristen: Take time for yourself without a guy. Become strong on your own, for real though, and then you will be ready for a happy relationship.

taniasveta
taniasveta

here is the psychology behind all that happened. Everything is happening for a reason. 

  Tom feels good about himself. So, he justifying everything that he ever done.

     for thee years he claimed to Ariana friend-only...and the moment he broke up with you he was in bed with her.

     Yet, he is healthy enough not to feel guilty about lying and moving with Ariana. 

     That is a healthy attitude. 


 Kristen does feel bad about herself. She takes the blame for hurting Tom ( Tom never showed any remorce for  hurting Kristen at any time because in his mind he feels good about himself). 

 Kristen feels bad for hurting Stassi and it was heavy on her to keep the secret so she finaly admistted to it.


Kristen, you cannot start a healthy relationship until you find a center inside to hold on to.

Find a great person within you to hold on to before you can find a man to love you for this healthy inside you know you have. If you do not know your goodness, you will sabotage next relationship because deep down you wiull doubt yourself all the time.  

People grow and learn. If you can step into accepting your goodness, the man will feel it. 

I do not think Tom and Ariana will last. She it too calculating and level headed and lucking any emotion. She does not want to be married either. She is just a stepping point for Tom to find his next love.


It is funny that everyone telling Jax to feel bad. Yet Stassi never felt bad for hurting anybody....ever.

Jax and Stassi are alike so much in that sense. 

Jax was not in relatioship, he had little to loose by sleeping with you. I can understand why he has no remorse.

Stassi ha no remorse for trying to break you and Tom either. 


Pennylane05
Pennylane05

Krstin, Tom is not the right one for you.  I keep thinking that he was more in love with Jax than you.  You are a great girl who was dealt a bad hand  Realize that Stassi and Katie are pretty toxic and were not your friends.  You deserve so much more and I wish you happiness.  I think Peter is better for you anyway.

jcdiva
jcdiva

you sound like a totally different person in your blog and on camera. i can totally relate to your “blog” and understand how you felt but on the show it seemed like Tom is the only sane one.. but every time i read your blog, I do understand it could have been different?..

I totally understand why you wanted to do things for Tom, why you were insecure about Ariana and Tom kissing (because we women have this gut feeling that even just a make-out, a kiss.. or a just chat or even an wink that can lead into some other level.. we can just feel something is in the air when it comes to some people..right.. )... 

of course i don’t condone sleeping with your bf’s best friend.. or your best friend’s bf.. etc.. -plus i think the biggest part was you denying and lying about it for too long.. that has made the case worse i think.. 


but.. reading your blog, i do feel for you.. You have to love yourself first to let others love you and appreciate you. Hope you feel better. Ignore Tom and Ariana, not for them.. but for yourself.  

wrentham
wrentham

I think you got caught up in Stassi and Jax's negative relationship and of course you had your own issues with Tom. But now, that is all behind you. I think you will see a vast improvement in your life since Stassi is no longer in it, Jax, too. If you can leave SUR, leave. Lisa is a control freak and is capitalizing big time off your pain. She loves all this drama because it gives her a nice back-drop to show the world how wise she thinks she it. And I think Stassi left SUR mostly because of her. Stay strong. You will survive all this.

fairytell
fairytell

@gabbyval  Oh PLEASE ! Tom is not a saint nor is anyone ! Why would she be taking the heat from everyone?? That bullying on TV made Kristen actually look much better than the rest of that crew that includes Lisa 

CaBchMom
CaBchMom

@kekekinz1  If I were a guy i would gravitate to a more calm and collected person and stay away from the crazy Kristens of the world. This is LA people, the Ariana's are much harder to come by. I hope she and Tom stay together. 

pandora@lewiston.com
pandora@lewiston.com

@kekekinz1 Did you also notice on the reunion, both Tom & Ariana said a kiss is way more intimate than sex.   Hmmm  Pretty much sums up what happened with those two.

imk505
imk505

@phillyb  She didn't make a fool out of herself suspecting Tom and Ariana, because her intuition was correct. Tom and Ariana lied to everyone and never bothered apologizing for the agony they put Kristen through. Ariana was going around calling Kristen a liar and a psycho and Tom did nothing to defend Kristen, instead, he was more worried about how he would appear and helping his "friend" out. Tom had cheated on Kristen before so he's no winner. I for one, am glad that Kristen got at least one over on Tom. 

taniasveta
taniasveta

@phillyb  Tom is sleeping with Ariana now...if you know how think...you put two and two together to realize that Tom and Ariana did not just start sleeping out of the blue...they decided to speak of the ''kiss' only to make themselves look better. Jax face crumbles every time they say it because he knows what really was going on. Tom is putting a better 'defense' that Kristen does...that is all

Shaw_Sway
Shaw_Sway

@lillykins  I actually felt bad for Tom and Kristen too.  Stassi had no reason to uncover the truth because she wasn't with Jax  anymore or friends with Kristen.  She couldn't hurt Jax because he has no heart so she moved on to Kristen with Tom as collateral damage.  

temperance824
temperance824

@dmajor  How can anyone believes what comes out of Tom's mouth? How can anyone believe what comes out of Stassi's mouth? Or Stassi's voicepiece, Katie?

temperance824
temperance824

@Shaw_Sway @lillykins  I think that if Stassi's motive was "I need to tell Tom what's going on" then she had every right as a decent human being to be like, "Hey, I have incriminating information about my ex-boyfriend and your current girlfriend" instead, she turned it into "Kristen cheated on Tom, but woe is me! She hurt ME, ME ME ME" and her pity party ensued. She just used what happened for people to feel sorry for her instead of just trying to be a good friend because you know, she's not. lol