A Special Place In Hell

Andy Cohen dishes on who has a reservation.

I was on the Equinox treadmill last night held hostage by the plasma in front of me which blared Entertainment Tonight's exhaustive coverage of all things Anna. I've always thought that watching ET was like watching the world end, but seeing Mark Steines with Howard K. Stern is proof that it's here. Pack your knives and go, citizens of the world, the planet is calling it quits.

There is indeed a special place in hell being readied as we speak for Howard K Stern, who looks to have accepted a sizeable ET payment to let them bottom feed on the floor of his poopy birdcage as he does whatever it is he is doing.

When it was over, I scrubbed myself with soap and put some on my eyes for good measure. I felt like going to church, so I did the next best thing - hit my dvr for the most socially responsible episode of Oprah that I could find.

I landed on a Lisa Ling-driven hour about child slaves in Ghana and one Missouri mother who saw a pic in the New York Times that led her to get off her butt and rescue a sweet boy. A very moving story indeed.

CINDY ADAMS reports today that ZSA ZSA is behind gates and locked doors, unable to use her body, of sound mind, and under total control of her allegedly no-good husband who is basically, according to Cindy, keeping her prisoner. Cindy breaks news weekly of the latest octogenarian to be locked up -- first it was Brooke Astor, then Leona Helmsley, now Zsa Zsa... Who is next?? ME? I'm scared!

OTHER STUFF: The Post also reports that there's a movie coming about the diaper-wearing astro-nut. Is there a question that this role should be handed, without audition, to Margot Kidder?? This is her moment, people. And the Emmy goes to...

I've been obsessed with the subway ads for the new Fox Morning show. They look to me like PARODIES of Morning show ads, like an intro to an SNL sketch making fun of stupid morning shows.

I was surprised and intrigued to read the New York Times' review of said morning show last week that said this was actually kind of different because the male host is a little bit of a womanizing letch and the lady is single in her late 30s looking for a man and unlucky in love.

The review said that the show kind of works because both hosts talk incessently about their dating lives and personal stuff. I still don't want to watch, am still confused by the ads, but I'm glad there's something different about the show. I love it that, from my apartment, I can see several flags on building-tops.

They are still half-mast though and, though Liza suggested that perhaps that was in honor of Anna Nicole, I am thinking that is for President Ford. I don't want to take anything away from our former President, but enough. I think even Betty would agree that it is time for us to move forward!

Put the freaking flags up!

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