“I hit the lottery and I still would waste my time on those hollow pursuits,” the actor tells GQ. “If you love someone, set them free. Now I know what it means, by feeling it. It means to love without ownership. It means expecting nothing in return. It doesn't mean f*** all to me until, you know. Until you live it.”
Brad says he’s been grieving the end of the relationship like a death, and is now sober since an alleged altercation on a private jet between the actor and their 15-year-old son, Maddox, last year.
On his drinking, Brad said he “could drink a Russian under the table,” adding he was a “professional” at getting drunk to “run away from his feelings.”
“I mean, we have a winery. I enjoy wine very, very much, but I just ran it to the ground. I had to step away for a minute,” he says. “And truthfully I could drink a Russian under the table with his own vodka. I was a professional. I was good…Personally, I can’t remember a day since I got out of college when I wasn’t boozing or had a spliff, or something. I mean I stopped everything except boozing when I started my family. But even this last year, you know - things I wasn’t dealing with. I was boozing too much. It’s just become a problem.”
Now he’s in therapy to talk about his drinking and his marriage falling apart.
“You know, I just started therapy. I love it. I love it. I went through two therapists to get the right one,” he says.
And after the plane incident, Brad was investigated by the FBI and Child Services got involved with his visitation to his six children.
“I was really on my back and chained to a system when Child Services was called,” he admits. “After that, we've been able to work together to sort this out. We're both doing our best. I heard one lawyer say, ‘No one wins in court - it's just a matter of who gets hurt worse.’ And it seems to be true. You spend a year just focused on building a case to prove your point and why you're right and why they're wrong, and it's just an investment in vitriolic hatred. I just refuse. And fortunately my partner in this agrees. It's just very, very jarring for the kids, to suddenly have their family ripped apart. Kids are so delicate. They absorb everything. They need to have their hand held and things explained. They need to be listened to. When I get in that busy work mode, I'm not hearing. I want to be better at that.”
“For me this period has really been about looking at my weaknesses and failures and owning my side of the street. I'm an a**hole when it comes to this need for justice. I don't know where it comes from, this hollow quest for justice for some perceived slight. I can drill on that for days and years. It's done me no good whatsoever. It's such a silly idea, the idea that the world is fair. And this is coming from a guy who hit the lottery, I'm well aware of that.”
Personal Space is Bravo's home for all things "relationships," from romance to friendships to family to co-workers. Ready for a commitment? Then Like us on Facebook to stay connected to our daily updates.