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Captain Lee: Dane's a Bit Too Free and Easy

Captain Lee sounds off on the new deck hand. 

By Lee Rosbach

Ahoy Mates,

How to Watch

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Here we are at the start of the fourth charter. I cannot believe what is going on. We have had rough starts before, but not usually this early and certainly not this frequent, nor this severe. But before we get into that, I want to thank Kevin and his guests. What a great charter group you guys were. You came to have some fun and weren’t going to let weather, or anything else, stand in your way. Kevin, when you opened your first beer, I was impressed. I’ve seen it done before, but not with your style and ease. Well done, sir. So glad you guys were on board and would love to have you back anytime. You guys were great. Thanks. Now…

Don self-destructed, and we all saw that coming a mile away. As a result, we are shorthanded. Leon and Kate are on a collision course that seems irreversible, Eddie is having domestic issues that are playing with his mental state, and Emile has that puppy dog look whenever Rocky walks into a room. Connie thanks for being quasi normal. You and Amy seem to be the only two without a monkey on your back or an agenda right now. So I’m going to get right into it and go to the elephant in the room first.

Am I the only one who sees Leon deliberately trying to sabotage things in the galley? Why would you go there? It can only hurt you. You know that the guests are off the boat, and any charter chef (that may be the operative term here) knows that the chief stew will give you the day’s schedule for meals as soon as she has them from the guests. And if they are not forthcoming, she obviously can’t be. And if she is just late getting that to you, it’s OK to ask, right? So you go ahead on your own and prep a meal and we are just fine up to this point. But now we still have no input from guests and you just arbitrarily decide to fire it off on your own without any consideration for what the guests may want. Now we have a situation that you created all on your own. The chief stew didn’t come back and tell you that were having a late lunch or early dinner or anything. So if communication were so important to you, why would you not ask some one if you felt uncomfortable with what you knew? Oh, I get it; you don’t want to ask a “stew” what’s going on; it may put a chink in the façade that you already know everything. Let’s just put the whole guest experience at risk for your ego. Excuse me. Aren’t the guests what are important here? So back to present time, they have returned and want a cheese plate as they have eaten ashore and you have wasted time, resources, and energy when all you had to do was say something to anyone. Ask me, I would have gotten you an answer, but that would not have been as much fun as trying to stick it to your stews since they, as you put it, “need to step up their game.” To what, your perceived standards? You, sir, are not as important as I suspect you feel you are. Nor do I feel that anything will derail the imminent train wreck I see looming out on the horizon. Oh, and in the “for what it’s worth” column, I don’t think Kate would have any issue with saying anything to your face. I think you will find out that’s true.


Let’s move on to Connie. You continue to do a good job. You are holding your own with the deck crew, and you’re staying out of the fray so far. I still love that almost high five in the crew mess, like, half way up you reconsider, priceless. Eww, waking up to Emile’s “little morning wood,” and you thought I missed that. Don’t blame you for changing rooms. Emile, she did leave you for a girl. Get over it. What was that whipped cream thing at the end Connie, can’t wait to see what prompted that. Keep it up, Connie.

Amy, could it be that you have finally gotten through to Rocky, at least as far as work goes? Kate was actually impressed with her job in the crew laundry, and that falls right back on you. Right when I was about to give up, you pull it off. Way to go. Lets hope it sticks with her now. You guys did a great job entertaining the guests in less than perfect weather, nice work. It always makes it tougher when they can’t get outside to enjoy the water and toys like they should, but that is one of the risks you take in the Northern Bahamas this time of year.

Let’s see what’s happening with Emile and the Rocky Horror Picture show. I don’t get it. You keep using the worst cheesy lines, they don’t work, so what do you do…bring out more cheesy lines? In what world did you think that, “I just really want to f--- you right now,” was going to get you somewhere? And she is blowing you off. I was waiting for the light to go on and it doesn’t. You can’t use alcohol to make the situation better. “Let’s get some shots” doesn’t work, which by now, should be obvious to you. Everything you have tried isn’t working, so give it up. Do not get into a confrontational situation with Dane about Rocky. Wake up. I’m not sure if it’s affecting your game on deck, but I fear it is. What part of putting that giant fender in my line of sight did you think was going to work out at a critical point in the docking? Well, it didn’t and now you also are having trouble with the lines on the foredeck. Clearly, your head is not in the game, and I see it causing you problems if you don’t shake it off. I like you and think that you may have a future if you can get out of your own way. Not tossing the towel in at all, just want to see you move in the right direction sir. Oh and put Rocky in the past, under swing and a miss. She thought you could’ve stolen third base, I didn’t see you getting out of the batters box. You will both fare much better if you do.

Rocky Shuts Down Emile

Rocky, Rocky, Rocky. I guess that we are just here to provide one man after another till we get one here that meets with your approval. Dane has three in the plus column, so I guess we are doing better. Hey kid, news flash, having a romantic interlude was not part of your job description and this isn’t high school. Time to break out the big girl britches. If something happens while you are here (and here’s the kicker) doing your job, get it, I have no problems with it. But your primary focus should not be, as you put it, needing a man. Your job should be your main focus, not an afterthought. This is the second time while expressing you need a man that you have brought up Eddie, as if he doesn’t have enough issues to deal with right now. How can I put this in terms you may understand? Life is not a cabaret old friend, it’s work, which by definition is something you have to do while wanting to do something else. Way to step up and get something positive going in the laundry room, I appreciate the effort you put forth and the good job you did. I know Kate did as well. Keep that sort of effort and focus up, and you and I will be just fine and you will have become a better person for it. And would you please cut the string on Emile? One more thing, what’s on the ceiling that has you captivated? Just curious.

Kate, what a week it was. You and Amy did a great job keeping the guests entertained in less then spectacular weather circumstances. Kudos. You did drop the ball a bit on the Don Julio. I know, I get it, I too have seen so many preference sheets where they want this hard to get stuff and after you jump through incredible hoops to get it, they look at it once and never touch it again. I know, but this time it almost got you. Way to recover, well done, and it went a long way in improving our tip, because he was not giving up on ol’ DJ at all. I hate to break this to you, but you probably won’t make the Christmas card list at Leon’s home this year, nor the party list either. I’m not holding you responsible for the almost disaster in the galley when he could’ve totally avoided it. Now on the other side, I really don’t care if he makes the same dishes for different guests, it’s the first time they are seeing/eating it, and it appears to be working, because the all seem to love it. So that’s an issue that may rear its head in a restaurant or if we had owners on board, but it’s a non-issue right now with me. Now if the guests start hating it and he keeps making it, I would get alarmed, but not right now. If he doesn’t want to get creative, as long as the guests like it, I’m fine. I know you and Rocky are not hitting it off so to speak, but I think it was a good move letting Amy take a crack at it. It seems to be paying off. Good read.

Eddie, I’m not at all comfortable with where your head is right now. I know you have issues at home, but you can’t do anything about those issues while you are here. As difficult as it is, cut it loose and deal with it when you get back. Otherwise I see you holding onto the middle of a rope that is burning on both ends. Your crew is dropping the ball and you’re the one I’m holding accountable for it – they’re your crew, and how they perform is a direct reflection on how well you are doing. Management does not have the luxury of having it all go away, you have to confront problems and deal with them. Left to take care of themselves, they will only cause you grief that you can’t even imagine yet. So get ahead of it now, before something bad does happen. Emile bailed out Dane, but it was your job to make sure he understood the rules. You didn’t and he almost got himself fired in what would have been record time. Keep an eye on Dane; he’s a bit too free and easy for my tastes. Hope I’m wrong, but we’ll see. You have your hands full, and if you need me just ask, I won’t leave you hanging.

Meet the New Deckhand!

Dane, you came so close to setting a record. Emile bailed you out big time. He could’ve let you bury yourself, but he’s not that type, lucky for you. Let me see, your parents took you yachting, so that qualifies you to work on a yacht. Where have I heard that one before? Judging from what I have seen so far, you didn’t learn too much about the working end of a yacht, but it’s early so we will give you the benefit of the doubt. I can see that ponytail causing you grief if you can’t figure out how to handle it. I won’t have a deck hand spending more time putting his hair up rather than getting the job done. Breaking out the board shorts, and kicking it in the hot tub with the guests -- tell me, just what sort of job did you think you were coming to, because from what I’ve seen, I’m not sure we are at all what you expected. Oh, and your interaction with Rocky while giving her a foot massage was, wow, did he seriously just respond that way? Let’s see, does he display honesty and integrity or does he let his little head think for his big head. Boom, little head wins again. The easy question of, “Are you with someone right now?” requires a yes or no answer, but you have to think about it. Like if I say yes, will she still sleep with me or do I lie and deal with it later down the road? So your reply of, “It’s complicated,” translated to I want to have my cake and eat it too. She wants to know how to thank you for her foot massage, and you reply, “Oh I’ll think of some way.” I thought that was clever and original as well. I’ll be honest; I certainly hope your overall game improves, because I’m not impressed with anything I see so far.

The New Deckhand Is Already in Hot Water...

So that wraps it up for this week, and an eventful week it was. It doesn’t appear that sailing is going to smooth out anytime soon judging from the previews. But that’s for another day. Until next time, fair winds and calms seas my friends.

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