Little by Little

Wow! Last week was intense and it's only the beginning. I read all of your comments and I always appreciate your time, feedback, and, most importantly, your honesty. I have learned so much from you throughout these years and I continue to do so.

When I agreed to do my show, I knew it wouldn't be easy. I could very easily manufacture plot lines, pretend everything is perfect in my home and office, and try to create drama for entertainment. However, that isn't who I am. I do my show because I think it is important for it to actually be "reality." I think you deserve the honesty that you have given me back.

This is the first year of my marriage, my motherhood, and my success. I no longer strive for balance because it probably won't ever come. Right now I strive for quality time with my family, integrity in my career, and a good night's sleep.

The episode:

Rachael Ray: What she said about balance defines my life. It probably isn't going to happen so I better just accept that. I'm so thankful to her for creating such a special experience for Julie. I was so happy to give Julie a day for herself. She deserves it and rarely takes one. This job isn't easy. Many people think they want to work for me but it isn't a party.

Us Weekly: The humor isn't lost on me that Us Weekly was nice enough to name me one of their most stylish New Yorkers. This must mean that someone else canceled. I do the best I can, but a fashionista I'm not.

I hate leaving the baby even if she'll be sleeping when I'm gone. I'm most at ease at home in pajamas. I love to dance and have a cocktail, but gearing up for a night out takes more effort that I care to exert.

Running into Nick was a shocking and complete coincidence. If I were watching, I'd never believe it, but it happens to be true. I have a soft spot for him and I'm going to help him with his confidence. He's an interesting guy.

I really love my therapist. He gives it to me straight, and he makes me go places I'd never go. It is so real that it can make me very uncomfortable.

Date night: Jason and I have done that silly role-playing thing before. I think I'm just curious as to how Jason put the moves on women before me. He certainly is slick, that I'll say. We're silly. I think that's why we get along.

Of course, I couldn't keep my big mouth shut, and I had to tarnish date night. I can't say it won't happen again. I'm a woman after all.

Jason often says to me that it isn't normal that I don't have family. It hurts my feelings. We chose each other because of who we are. I simply don't want to feel crazy because I grew up differently from him.

As I say in my next book A Place of Yes, all roads lead to Rome. I will get there. It just takes time. As anyone who has ever tried to lose weight understands, that little changes along the way are what work. You don't just drastically change everything. We are committed to working together to get to the best place for both of us. That to me is what marriage is.

Thank you for watching. It means the world to me to let you into my life and have you embrace it.