Spooky Halloween Decor That Will Scare the Sh*t Out of Trick-or-Treaters

Prior to having kids, Halloween was a boozy, bar-hopping night in the city with friends. Then I started having those kids and moved to the suburbs, only to realize that Halloween is a totally different animal when you head just a few dozen miles away from the big city. It’s a wholesome, family-centric affair that is way more about candy and costumes than staying out all hours and paying huge covers to enter overcrowded bars.

The town I happened to land in, it turns out, goes bananas for Halloween. There’s a parade for kids, streets shut down for trick-or-treating and induvial homes go all out in the decor department. I’m talking spider webs spanning the height of homes, gravestones dotting yards, ghosts swaying from trees and fog machines engulfing kiddos in smoke as they nervously head up a strangers’ staircase to snatch some candy.

At first I found this to be a bizarre tradition, but a few years after living here, I’ve caught the Halloween bug, too. Not only because my kids freaking love seeing a wrapped mummy greet them on their stoop and a monster try to grab them out of a tree — but because this is what my childhood Halloween memories were made of. That’s right, good ol’ nostalgia propelled me to make my front yard look like a veritable cemetery, and I relish in the reactions it receives all throughout the month of October. And, of course, I also like scaring the sh*t out of those trick-or-treaters on the 31st. And you will, too. Below are the spookiest options on the market right now that will surely do the trick ... on those trick-or-treaters.