“My [love] .. before we leave the beach we believe in releasing all negativity, worry, doubt and confusion,” she wrote. “Instead we fill our hearts with love, passion, peace, and joy. We believe if our marriage is strong our children will be even stronger. We also put our marriage first above all else.”
With six kids to raise, her proclamation might sound surprising — but she's in accord with some experts who advise keeping the marriage first.
“If one or both parents make the needs of the marriage subordinate to the need of the child, they run the risk of fostering feelings of resentment, neglect, resignation, and alienation in themselves and/or each other. Even if the consequences aren't overtly harmful, they can erode the quality of the couples' connection," New Orleans-based therapist, Dymphna Davis, Ph.D, explained to Personal Space.
Parental guilt is real, and no one said this kind of focus is easy, but it's do-able.
Meanwhile, marriage coach Lesli Doares told Personal Space, “If you experience any guilt, think, ‘I’m taking care of my marriage which is actually the best gift anyone can give their children.' We think if we don’t do all these things our kids are going to suffer, but they’re not. And they get to spend special time with others where they do fun stuff.”
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