Amy’s date takes her ice-skating, Julia’s date takes her to the beach, and, well, my date takes me to a strip club. What’s wrong with this picture? Let’s just say when I close my eyes and picture the perfect first date, my guy isn’t throwing dollar bills at other women.
1. TRUST YOUR GUT: I knew that I didn’t want to go out with Ray Luv after he asked me out at my book party and then asked me out again on my show. So while I always think, "Just say yes," Ruby is such an efficient, no BS dater that she’s thinking, "Why waste time, why bother?" The truth is, I think Ray Luv is a special and talented guy, but there was no spark initially, so clearly I’m torn between c’est la vie and stay at home.
I truly believe we have all the answers we need if we follow our instincts. We know what’s best for us and must cultivate the skills to trust and recognize our gut feelings and use them to guide us. Feel like he’s not the one? You’re probably right. Giant red flags flashing before you? Pay attention. If you follow your inner guide, you will stay on track.
2. TALL BLONDES ON JDATE: Ruby is not Jewish but she is on Jdate. No, she doesn’t try to pass off her 6-foot blonde goddessness as being Jewish. She states clearly on her profile that she’s not, but she has a penchant for Jewish men. They love her. Who wouldn’t?
3. THE HAIR EXTENSION: I didn’t go through the guy’s trash. Just sayin’. The blonde hair extension was sitting on top of the trash. Why not tuck it under the trash (I asked myself) if another woman is coming over? I wasn’t upset with what I found, rather that this guy told me he didn’t go out with the chick when he did. Even though we were dating other people, it was still a lie.4. STRIP CLUB, ANYONE? Who would you pick first to take to a strip club? I know! Sex With Emily, because she’s down with everything. The truth: I pretty much am. The problem is, you have to be in the mood to go to a strip club, and I wasn’t in the mood. I slapped some asses, gave away some dollar bills, finished my diet coke, and was ready to hightail it out of there.
5. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: I’m not a fan, although admittedly I’ve done it. The problem is, you sleep together and the next thing you know, you might be unnecessarily attached to someone because of all the hormones and oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) going off like wildfire in our brains. This is the reason why people say love (or lust) makes us temporarily insane and why we overlook someone’s flaws when we have sex too soon. You’re too busy obsessing about being with the person again to really see who this person is. This is also why they say love is blind.
6. FOR THE RECORD: I’m lucky to live in a place like San Francisco where race isn’t an issue when it comes to dating. In fact, many things that would cause explosive riots elsewhere don’t even register in San Francisco. I’m not ignorant that racism still exists, I’m just happy to live in a place and more importantly be surrounded by people who would never judge who I went out with by the color of their skin.7. FAVORITE LINES: EPISODE 2
1. “I can barely read let alone understand what you’re talking about” - JP’s date when asked if he liked being objectified and was stumped. Crickets.
2. “Only get a cat if you have to. Don’t be that crazy cat lady” - Amy Laurent
3. “You don’t want to be desperate” - Amy’s trainer to Amy after she accepts the date on the same day.
4. “He would bring you a deer” - Julia about JP’s date.
5. “I’ve been a wife fluffer” - Julia about her dating history.
Until next week! With love,