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8 Celebrities Whose Songs Make You Never Want to Date Them
Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Ed Sheeran, and The Weeknd all regularly write songs about their celebrity exes.
Think you have relationship issues? Try dating a celebrity who's known for taking out their breakup frustration in massively popular music form! We all know musicians often draw inspiration from real life for their songs, and the artists ahead definitely don't make it subtle what — or who — they're singing about. Are these the worst offenders out there? They're at least the ones who, through catchy songs, compel us to stay away!
"I had her head going north and her ass going south, but now baby chose to go West," sneers Brandy's brother on his 2013 shocker "I Hit It First," which has the chorus of, "She might move on to rappers and ballplayers, but we all know I hit it first."
If it wasn't obvious that he's talking about Kim Kardashian, he cast a lookalike model in the video just to make sure you knew. But he denied it with a virtual wink in many interviews.
“It’s life put into a music form from my perspective,” he told Yahoo!
He's now married with a daughter, so we don't have to worry about him in the dating pool anymore.
Tender crooner Ed Sheeran's 2014 song "Don’t," which tells a tale of a woman cheating brazenly, is said to be about singer-songwriter Ellie Goulding.
"I never intended to be next, but you didn't need to take him to bed, that's all," he sings. "And I never saw him as a threat, until you disappeared with him to have sex, of course. It's not like we were both on tour. We were staying on the same f--king hotel floor."
Don't let the sweet looks fool you — it's not a good idea to cross this bloke!
The Weeknd's 2018 album My Dear Melancholy is bursting with lyrics that people think are about his former lovers Selena Gomez and Bella Hadid.
“I said I didn’t feel nothing baby, but I lied," he sang on "Call Out My Name." When he says on the song, "I almost cut a piece of myself for your life,” listeners immediately thought it was about Gomez's kidney transplant. Ouch.
Everyone knows "Cry Me a River" is about Justin Timberlake's breakup with Britney Spears because of her rumored cheating (allegedly with choreographer Wade Robson, who is currently making headlines in the Michael Jackson documentary Leaving Neverland).
"You don't have to say, what you did, I already know, I found out from him," he sang accusingly. "Now there's just no chance with you and me, there'll never be. Don't it make you sad about it?"
"I wrote ‘Cry Me A River’ in two hours," he admitted in his memoir Hindsight. "I didn’t plan on writing it. The feelings I had were so strong that I had to write it, and I translated my feelings into a form where people could listen and, hopefully, relate to it. People heard me and they understood it because we’ve all been there.”
Morissette let us all know from the very beginning that she is not one to mess with thanks to the fiery 1995 standard-setting hit called, "You Oughta Know," which we later found out was shockingly about Full House star Dave Coulier.
"Does she know how you told me you'd hold me until you died," she demanded. "'Til you died, but you're still alive! And I'm here, to remind you of the mess you left when you went away. It's not fair, to deny me of the cross I bear that you gave to me. You, you, you oughta know."
When the song came out, Coulier reflected, "I called her and said, 'Look, what do you want me to say to the media when these folks call me? And she said, 'You can say whatever you want.'"
The man who debuted with "Your Body Is a Wonderland" has written some, um, less respectful songs about people he's dated, like Taylor Swift, who he roasted in 2013's "Paper Doll."
You’re like 22 girls in one, and none of them know what they’re runnin’ from," he sang in "Paper Doll." "Was it just too far to fall? For a little paper doll."
Ariana Grande's single "thank u, next" is a roll call of old romances, including Big Sean, former backup dancer Ricky Alvarez, SNL comedian Pete Davidson, and late rapper Mac Miller.
"I had sent it to Sean and he loved it. He was like, 'Damn, I'm the first one, huh?' I was like, 'You know, I went kind of in order,'" she told Billboard. "Ricky loved it. He was like proud. But Ricky was like, 'Why'd I get the worst line?' I was like, 'What do you mean?' He was like, 'Everyone else's line is so nice, and mine is like, f--k him, he's trash.' I was like, 'Nah, I could've said that. But I didn't."
Meanwhile, her newest single "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored" has sparked rumors about her getting back together with Big Sean. If you don't want your business splashed all over a faux-lesbian video, don't date Grande.
Taylor Swift has what seems like a career-long beat in writing about her exes. There's "We Are Never, Ever Getting Back Together," which is allegedly about Jake Gyllenhaal. Or take "Dear John," written for John Mayer years before "Paper Doll": "Well maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame. Maybe it's you and your sick need to give love then take it away. And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand. And I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said, 'run as fast as you can.'"
"["Dear John" is] cheap songwriting," Mayer told Rolling Stone in June 2012. "It's abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, 'Wait til he gets a load of this!' That's bulls--t . . . It really humiliated me at a time when I'd already been dressed down."
Hopefully her current beau, Joe Alwyn, is being the best boyfriend she could ever want!