Another day in Mexico, another drink to be had. I want to thank you all for another week of fun tweets and sweet messages! Last Monday, Brandi, Cary, and I all loaded up into my car and popped up at a few doorsteps to watch this past episode with you. We had the BEST time, met some of the sweetest people, and drank way too much champagne. It was such a fun experience getting to watch the episode in person with you, share some laughs, and give some hugs to just a few of the many people that shower us with so much love!
This episode started where we left off last time — at the dinner table in Mexico. I am actually in Mexico right now with Brandi and a few of our friends, and one tradition that always holds true when we are in Mexico is that after dinner, we head to the bars! I was very excited that D’Andra and LeeAnne came with us, because I wanted them to have fun, let loose, and enjoy a night on the town. And a night on the town isn’t complete until you end up on top of the bar, wearing some strangers hat, dancing with your best friend. This is a girls’ trip, and I make no apologies for having fun with my best friend! Cheers!
After our beach group activities — I was still a little tipsy from the night before and in no position to win any sort of sporting activity — we all sat down for a nice picnic on the beach. When you’re hungover, physical activity feels like you’re running a mile, so sitting down sounded fabulous! I opened up to the girls about a little bit of my guilt regarding Cruz and explained our decision to move closer to the boys' schools. It was the first time that I shared with the group the real reason that we are moving, so I hope it cleared the air of any rumors that might be circling around town. I would do absolutely anything for my boys, and my family is my first priority. I hope the other ladies see that!
Brandi and I were on a mission, a mission to save our friend Sexual Chocolate! We could not possibly live with ourselves if we left him all alone in LeeAnne and D’Andra’s room to fend for himself. It was up to us to save his a-- before he went up one of theirs! #NoWeinerLeftBehind
What better way to get our friend back than to break into his prison cell and free him from his captors? Brandi and I knew we couldn’t just walk down to the front desk and ask for a key to their room without playing the part. We patted on our blush, threw on some Hard Night Good Morning, and went on our mission. We were successful in our operation to get a key to the room, but finding Sexual Chocolate was an entirely different challenge of its own! After checking under the pancakes (he wasn't there, but those were good), digging through their drawers, and flipping the bed upside down, Sexual Chocolate arose in all his glory from under LeeAnne’s pillow! SUCCESS! But what was he doing under there? I think it’s safe to say she was having some sweet dreams! But like I said earlier, no sausage left behind, so I grabbed the rest of the sausage and pancakes and ran back to our room before we got caught. Mission complete!
I normally don’t do well in boats, especially on choppy water. Add a few drinks to the mix, and I am done! I thought that if I sat on the floor and didn't have to watch the waves, it might help. But once I sat down, I couldn't get up. Then when I felt everything coming up, I pushed myself to the side of the boat. Ugh, it was awful. Hands down, that was the worst boat ride I'd ever been on.
When the discussions about Mark came up, I thought, "Here we go again!" LeeAnne is NEVER going to change. It's déjà vu all over again. Is she on a personal mission to bring conflict and distrust to the Deuber family? Why is this marriage and family any of her business? Her broken line throughout this journey has been, "When you say things in Dallas, it gets around Dallas," but it is apparent the one participating in the gossip IS LeeAnne. LeeAnne, when you say things on a Real Housewives show, it really gets around the world, not just Dallas. If your mission is to bring doubt and mistrust to a family, you are well on your way! Mission accomplished: You have once again shown your real colors. Oh, but wait! Now it's time for your other broken line: "I apologize, and I'll own it." That makes it all OK?
Something was really bothering me on this trip, and being honest, if everyone else was expressing how they feel, I felt as though I needed to be honest myself: I wanted to see those ta-tas! After all, they had been the center of attention. So, set those ta-tas free, and let's see what the fuss is all about! We were in Mexico, and we should all have been having a great time! I wanted to trade the drama for more drinks, and if some ta-tas could lighten the mood, then by all means, bring those babies on out!
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