Joanna: Why You So Obsessed with Me?

I am writing this blog from Rzeszow, Poland where I flew in cause had to get away and also to work on some Polish TV hosting projects and designing my spring lingerie collection. I am about to produce my first show and am super excited getting a credit as a producer. When I arrived, I right away went to the local  animal shelter named Kundelek with my grandpa donating collars, dog food, water, and food bowls. Also that day, I donated sheets and blankets to a local kids' orphanage since they were in major need of bedding supplies. I am sharing this info to spread awareness as I do this on a regular basis and don't talk or write about it, but sometimes in order to make a difference you have to motivate others to do the same. 

To me, in life, the most important thing is to always help the less fortunate and those that are defenseless and voiceless. What makes me the happiest is when I can do something good instead of being around mean-spirited women like Adriana and Alexia. This is what life is about, not about bullying and physically assaulting a human being, but using your voice to do something that can change a child or an animal's life FOREVER. Aome of these women focus their energy on the wrong things in life and use their bitterness and unhappiness to hurt others. Life is not about how much money you have, or how many pairs of shoes you have, or how many herve dresses you own, but what kind of person you are. We all love beautiful things, but we are not gonna take them with us once we leave this earth, but what we can leave is a positive message behind…. I'm going to be straight out honest and say I regret stooping to Adriana's level at the lingerie party because that is not who I am, but being around such haters and bullies makes you turn into one at the moment to defend yourself with all the bad energy around and especially when there is alcohol involved.

When I was invited to play in the celebrity model beach volleyball tournament to  raise money for Models 4 Water in order to  build wells in Africa, of course I had to say yes since I love being involved in helping others, especially since I am so blessed, and the least I can do is try to raise money so people in Africa can have clean water to drink. I haven't played volleyball since high school gym class, but why not? Anything for an amazing cause. A lot of things in my life that I do is usually for the first time as long as there is a good reason behind it. Doing charitable things is good for the soul, and makes me feel good about myself, and is good therapy, and keeps me humble with everything i have accomplished. To top it all off, it was such a nice surprise to be invited for a weekend to Bimini Bay! I have heard of it before but never been to that part of the Bahamas, but what a perfect reason to get away with the girls for the weekend!!!

When I saw Lisa and Karent come to support me at the volleyball tournament, I was very happy to see them. I needed someone to lift my spirit since I was so nervous if Romain was gonna come and support me at the event. I needed my girls for extra energy, and I felt better just having them there and was able to talk to them and get some things off my chest about what's been happening. The lingerie party was one I would love to forget forever and never again allow myself to stoop to the low levels of Adriana De Moura because that is not who I am. I know and will admit that I have an issue when I have too much to drink, and I turn into a different person. As Romain has mentioned many times before, it makes me more vocal that can end up in an altercation if someone says something disrespectful to me about anyone that I care about in my life. I take responsibility when I am wrong, and I accept when I am wrong, and I promised myself I am going to lay off the alcohol, but being around some of these women's bad energies and malicious behaviors makes it hard not to drink, especially in social gatherings when the last thing you want to do is have to see them, but that's the price you have to pay if you have a group of friends where not everyone gets along and when you still wanna be around the ones you do get along with. When lisa said that Adriana and I have similar personalities, I totally disagree, but didn't want to get into it with her, so I agreed, but the difference between Adriana and me is that I stand up for what is right and wrong and Adriana is just a bully that is filled with hate, JEALOUSY, FRUSTRATION, and feels better about herself when she can put someone down. I, on the other hand, defend myself from mean people and don't let anyone walk all over me. I WAS BULLIED AS A KID FOR BEING A POOR POLISH IMMIGRANT, I KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE PUT DOWN BY JEALOUS, EVIL-SPIRITED PEOPLE.

When Romain finally made it to the volleyball tournament, my heart was racing as I didn't know how the conversation was going to go, but I tried to play it cool and just try to understand where he is coming from and take blame for what happened. I know all he ever wants to do is protect me, and Romain tried to come to my defense when Adriana was in my face in Lisa's kitchen for one reason and one reason only: he was TRYING TO SEPARATE her from getting too close to me and trying to hurt my face as it is the way I make my money AND CAN SUPPORT MY FAMILY… for no other reason but that to make sure she doesn't try to hurt my face. 

Romain knows I am a strong person and can take care of myself, or at least I think I can since I helped raise my sister from a real young age in order help out my mom and then my dad when he came from Poland. I was always the little adult and when Romain tried to come to my defense, I didn't want his help -- actually, I didn't want anyone's help because Adriana was out of line and I wasn't just going to let her attack me and call me names  and get away with it, as i had never done anything wrong to her to speak to me that way. Since the moment I met her she wasn't friendly towards me. All I felt from her was hate. I never have met this woman till the Ocean Drive wine tasting at Smith & Wollensky through Lisa. From the moment I met her she just seemed like a bitter person that I hoped that maybe eventually with time she would allow herself to show a warm sweet side to her. I was going to give her that chance since no one is perfect, and sometimes it takes me a while to warm up and trust others, but maybe she was just intimidated with the new girls in the group and needed some time to get used to it as she wasn't the center of attention, and maybe that's what the issue was from the beginning… having friends isn't a competition, but it seems to her and some of the other girls in the group that is all a competition, and I really am still trying to figure out the point of it. Isn't friendship based on trust and having each other's back and being kind to one another? Otherwise, why have friends when they act more like your enemies?

Alexia inviting all the girls to her home made me think it will be a nice peaceful evening where we all act like adults, and admit our faults, and just laugh, and have a wonderful time, and make fun of the immature things we have done in the last days, and move away from it, and focus on the future. But boy was I wrong. The mean girls are at it again -- surprise, surprise -- I can't sit back and watch my friend or loved one get bullied and harassed by mean girls without at least speaking out. I have never been around such vicious and mean-spirited women. Why do they spend all their energy on Karent or talking behind my back? i am so occupied with my life that I don't even have time to think about what the others are doing, let alone worry about some little tiny article IN A LOCAL PAPER! To me, life is about a lot more than this, and these girls are getting out of hand. I know i am not perfect and never said I was. I am the first to admit my faults, and I know when I drink I become more vocal and don't hold back if someone tries to attack me, but it seems with Adriana and Alexia this is a never-ending story. I don't understand why some of these women, like Adriana and Alexia, focus so much energy on Karent or myself because if they only spent all that energy on themselves, their lives can be more fulfilled. It's not as if they have to keep picking at other girls in the group. I guess it makes them feel better about themselves as I just can't figure out any other reason for it. Act lke grown women. Why did Adriana have to speak Spanish and talk badly about the way I was dressed? I was dressed to a gala? Really, Adriana, is your life so lame and boring that you have NOTHING ELSE TO TALK ABOUT AND BE OBSESSED ABOUT THAN ME? Come on -- why do you care so much what I do and what i wear? Plus, other girls were wearing beautiful dresses also. How was mine any different? Again, evil-spirited mean girl speaking out. Actions speak louder than words and Adriana is showing her true colors to everyone. There is no excuse for being a bully. Alexia and Adriana should set good examples instead of putting their energy into talking like grade school girls or high school students at the table calling Karent and me names…. Grow up, girls. Life is too short, and I won't stoop to your levels again. I am happy, and I wish you the same to find it within yourself because that's obviously missing and it shows clearly. Remember: life is what you make of it. 

xoxoxo
Joanna