Small Town New York

Welcome back, RHONY viewers!!!!!! I know we all had to wait a little longer for this season to start, but think you'll find it has been worth the wait. Don't you love the line "thug in a cocktail dress"? Simon and I launched a partnership today to raise money for Housing Works.

So we begin the season with Turtle Time. If you had told me a few years ago that Simon and I would have wound up becoming such close friends with Ramona and Mario, I'd have said you were crazy. However, that's exactly how it has played out and we are beyond thrilled for them with the new pinot grigio (which happens to be very tasty, and we're serving it at our party tonight; everyone should buy some.)

I was having a great time at the party until Jill walked in. I hadn't spoken to her once since the reunion in May, and all summer when Simon and I were on tour for Little Kids, Big City I kept hearing from mutual friends that she was up to her usual shenanigans, gossiping about us and trying to figure out what we were up to without ever picking up the phone. No wonder I looked uncomfortable as H-E-double hockey sticks; I am only surprised my neck wasn't bright red.

Note to self, when trying to extricate oneself from an awkward situation at parties, don't down the last of your drink and say you're going to the bar for a top up, at least more than once. Otherwise, you look like a lush. Oy.

Kelly and Jill got together and decided that I wanted to be acknowledged –- didn't it sound like they are talking about a child wanting attention from an authority figure? Such interesting spin. I tend to think that aggressive sharers give what they hope to get in return, regardless of whether their target actually wants anything. I am very happy to make my own friends!

Hey now, there are no violins when we switch over to Brooklyn! Certainly we don't need any in our messy office, with cords going everywhere because the wireless wasn't working. I am beyond delighted to have signed with New York Model Management, and am doubly excited to announce that I have an editorial out this week in The Block magazine, which you can find at newsstands or download. For this issue, a portion of all the proceeds benefits Japan. And YES, I'm thrilled to be working with Simon again. This is how we roll best!

It's time to meet Cindy -– love her intro scene with the babies and the spa. Meeting her in person at Peter Tunney's was a little strange. I had been to Peter's gallery a couple of times before, but completely separate from the ladies, and in fact it was the first time he and I had a conversation. We had a blast moonwalking in the paint, and my Cavallis were fine afterward. Did someone say champagne?

Ramona tortured a few potential assistants, LuAnn and the very sweet Jacques had fun with Brian and Sonja, and Sonja showed her vulnerability post-divorce.

Four grumpy grownups have a wedding breakfast in the Hamptons, and I think I owe Ramona a bagel. I had been shocked to get a voicemail from Jill, and slightly confused, too. By this time we'd remembered that she was on the host committee for the Marriage Equality march as well, and worked out that we were all going to be at the same wedding of mutual friends Jennifer and Glenn. Yes, New York is a very small town sometimes. You might remember Jennifer from last season, at Ramona's yacht party and Labor Day brunch. Ramona was cackling into her coffee because someone had been calling the bride to find out whether Simon and I were attending the wedding and if so, why. Why? Because we're friends, and managed to meet one another while out and about. This is why Ramona and I get along so well. She's fun.

Mario was running late, so we brought Ramona with us to the wedding and met him there. (Jill could be forgiven for that mixup; we drive the same car but Ramona's is navy and ours is black.) Anyway. . .talk about timing. Ramona could not have planned her moment better (or worse?) She got very emotional about her late friend, Jeff, and an incident with his fiancé and cigars. Small world once again, Carol is now dating Cindy's brother -- who was behind her for all this. Oops.

For the record, there were plenty of people at this summer afternoon wedding in cream and ivory -– and the only people who thought it inappropriate were surrounding Jill. I was fed up, quite frankly, and wasn't in the mood to let her twist my words around or get away with anything. Game, set, match, with a side of swiped cake.

For Simon's take on this episode go here, and be sure to follow me as well as my hubby on Twitter and Facebook. See you next week!