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Dorinda Medley Shares All the Secrets of Her Enduring Friendship with Her First Husband

The RHONY alum opens up about remaining close to ex-husband, Ralph Lynch.

By Jocelyn Vena

The Real Housewives of New York City fans know that Dorinda Medley has been married twice. Her first marriage was to Ralph Lynch and together they have a daughter, Hannah Lynch. Following their divorce, she married her second husband, Richard Medley in 2005; he passed away several years in 2011. 

During her time on RHONY, Dorinda has always been an open book about her relationships, including her romance with ex-boyfriend, John Mahdessian. Now she's sharing even more in her memoir, Make It Nice, out in August. Recently, Bravo Insider spoke to the Big Apple alum about the book, as well as her relationships through the years. And, yes, she revealed that she remains friends with her ex-husband.

"I let people know who I was gonna write about and they were good with it. Because just like you got to remember too, I’ve been very, very lucky. I have a wonderful relationship with Hannah’s dad. I have a great relationship still with [ex-boyfriend] John. I don’t get rid of people. I kind of carry them through my life. It’s just not how I run my life  And I think people saw that on the show: My friends become my friends, my boyfriends, my ex-husbands, whatever, they become part of my fabric of my life. And I don’t believe in getting rid of people. I don’t dabble in scandal. I never have," she shared when asked if she gave anyone a heads up about what she'd be sharing about them in the book.

She continued, "And I think that’s one of the things to learn about me. I’ve always been pretty sane and focused and had my eye on the ball. And I think that’s something that I want to teach women: That if you want something, you have to want it, journey it, you know, stay north. and get it. Because you can go off course very easily and then not get what you want. Not get what you need as a woman, mother, wife, [and] businessperson."

Dorinda opened up a bit more about remaining on good terms with Ralph, who she doesn't appear to ever post about on Instagram and appears to keep that more private. She remains more public about the other important people in her life by posting recent and throwback photos of them to social media. And, yes, that means lots of throwbacks of their daughter.

They are now parents to a grown daughter and Hannah has always been a main priority for them. "It’s so funny when Ralph and I got separated and they set up the separation agreement and all that, we never followed. Ralph basically had a key to my apartment and I said 'come by whenever you want.' Her father and I have been friends since. I guess, maybe from living in Europe, it was a little different. When I came back, it was like people hated their ex-husbands. It’s like why? Sometimes you’re not in love anymore. Ralph’s very happily married, has been for years. And, we made sure that we brought people into our lives that liked our former mates, you know, liked our former husband or wife," she explained.

In fact, they have always tried to be considerate of each others' lives. She reflected a bit on what their life looked like after they separated. "Ralph is working very hard. I had to take that into consideration. He was an investment banker. What was I gonna say to him? 'Pick up your daughter at five o'clock' when he’s working and then he loses his job? It doesn’t change. That’s the thing you have to keep working together, especially when you have a child," she said.

They really seemed to find a great structure for how to co-parent Hannah. "So if Ralph called me up and said 'listen, I can’t take her for the night but can I stop by and have dinner with her?' A hundred percent. And there were times where he’d come to my apartment, have dinner with her here, and I would leave and go out and have dinner because I didn’t want Hannah to be one of these kids that was being jostled around all over New York like a ragdoll," Dorinda recalled. "Listen, quite frankly it’s not natural for a kid to be out on a Wednesday night having dinner at Nello’s when they’re six years old. I always thought that was so screwed up. I was very routine-based with Hannah. Hannah laughs about it all the time, 'cause I was like very routine. I mean she went to bed at the same time every night, she was one of those kids. But I think that was because I kind of raised a chunk of her life in London."

Dorinda is currently single. As fans learned on Dorinda's final season of RHONY back in Season 12, she and longtime boyfriend John decided to break up. These days, she's just starting to think about dating again.

"I just started putting the word out there I said to two people this morning, I called, I’m calling and all my friends in countries and Palm Beach and London: calling all cars, calling all cars, Dorinda’s ready to date [laughs]. So one of my friends said this morning I want to get you with a man that’s slightly older that has a private jet. And another one of my friends is like 'I think you should date very young.' Which I would never do. No, not my thing," she said. "So we’ll see. I’m open again. But, you know, it’s been a while since I broke up with John and COVID hit and I was working. And I started writing the book, which was all consuming. And I was up at Blue Stone Manor doing that whole thing. And I became very Blue Stone Manor during COVID. I mean I did the whole hippie thing and everything. I went right into it."

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Dorinda Medley Breaks Down Over Her Breakup With John Mahdessian
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By the way, potential suitors, the private jet isn't necessarily a must-have for the former Housewife-turned-writer. But Dorinda does have a few important traits a potential partner should possess on her list.

"I’m looking for a great friend and companion. I want someone to laugh with again. I really miss that. I really miss having that good Sunday afternoon laugh. I miss going to dinner with someone. I just am ready for that again. I’m ready to share my life with someone again. And I wasn’t for a while," she said. "I really think COVID really helped everybody to figure out what you want and what you need. You know, I don’t even know if that turns into marriage. You know what I mean? All those things aren’t the focus. But I would love to meet someone kind and nice and good to me that like, you know, is, you know, likes my daughter and can make my life fun and a little more interesting. 'Cause I’m an interesting person. I have a lot to offer."

Want more RHONY? New episodes air every Tuesday at 9/8c or catch up on the Bravo app.