Heather Feels Terrible About Talking to Eddie About Tamra

We are encouraged to use these blogs to clear up misconceptions and explain situations to the audience, since obviously they can't show everything we film in just one hour a week. Shannon made some comments in her blog last week that I'd like to address. The spooky party was not a costume party. We were all told to wear black. I knew that Tamra was doing goth makeup and decided last minute to add my third "eye" to cover my blemish. I texted Shannon and told her what I was doing. Also, I did make a social gaffe when we walked in the party over the introductions and I quickly rectified it as you saw on camera.

Lastly, I did not ditch Shannon at the party. She walked in and immediately immersed herself. At one point Shannon was in the bathroom and Tamra and Vicki were making their usual bathroom jokes -- that Shannon had been in there too long and was she pooping, etc., etc. I went to check on Shannon and she was not only fine, but told me she is absolutely good on her own. I got the impression Shannon didn't want me shadowing her. I also think it's interesting that Tamra called Shannon a "whole lot of crazy"and Shannon didn't comment on THAT at all in her blog. It certainly feels as though Shannon is making an early case against me.

Now on to this week's episode: Dinner at Shannon's house was very awkward, for many reasons, but supremely delicious! Shannon is an exceptional cook. What you didn't see was that Tamra was not being very nice to me from the moment she arrived at the party. She turned her back to me in group conversations, made a few snide remarks and then just walked away. I also felt that Tamra and Vicki were cutting me off every time I tried to speak that evening. This made me especially sensitive and annoyed when Vicki was doing the same thing to Shannon during dinner. Not only is Shannon our hostess, but we are getting to know her, let her speak.

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I didn't join the basketball game because, honestly, at this point I was ready to go home. Tamra and Vicki were being so weird and rude to me all night, I didn't feel welcome. When I walked in the kitchen to get my purse and say my goodbyes, Tamra said "No fancy pants here!" I was clearly not wanted. The morning after pill comment wasn't serious, but truthfully at this point it doesn't matter what I say. If laying down on someone's kitchen counter at a dinner party makes you part of this "fun bus," I will take the train.

Having said all of that, I feel TERRIBLE about talking to Eddie about the baby issue. He's right, it's absolutely none of my business. I think at the time I meant to be helpful. If Tamra had gone to Terry because she was worried about me I wonder if he would have taken it the same way? I'm not sure, but watching it back, it was clearly the wrong decision.

I would never do anything intentionally to hurt Tamra or Eddie. Despite our issues right now, Tamra is my friend. I am truly sorry to Tamra and Eddie for my actions. This is between them, period. On the upside, at least I gave Tamra something to actually be mad at me about.

"Friendsgiving" dinner: It's so ironic that while cooking dinner the girls are talking about me behind my back, JUDGING me for who am, and yet -- I am the one that makes THEM feel bad? I'm sorry Tamra feels she can't be herself around me. I've always valued the fact that although we are different, we have mutual respect for each other and allow the other to be their true selves without judgment. Maybe I was wrong.

Lunch with Tamra: I was really happy that Tamra reached out to me to have lunch. I hate the animosity between us. I don't understand why it started in the first place, and I want it to end. I love what Tamra said about not running away from the problems between us like she has in the past with friends, that our friendship is worth more. I feel the same way. I also told her that day that one of the things I've learned from her is to take more risks and try new things. Tamra is fearless and I love that quality. I only wish she had told me that I was out of line by talking to Eddie. I thought everything was cleared up between us, but not quite yet...

You will have to wait until next week to see how this unfolds. You also get to meet Lizzie! She is another great addition to our cast! Stay tuned!

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