Teenage Panda Is So Sexually Frustrated, She’s Started Moonwalking

Wait, what?

Y’know how when you’re sexually frustrated, you start doing inexplicable things, like chewing on ice, or picking at your cuticles, or grinding your teeth, or moonwalking?

Wait, what’s that? You don’t moonwalk when you’re hard up? Oh. Well that’s what this adolescent panda’s been doing to express her annoyances with puberty.

Meng Meng is a giant Chinese panda who lives at the Berlin Zoo. She is four years old—that’s a teenager in bear years—and now that she is pubescent, her solitary confinement is taking a real toll on her happiness. The young panda has taken up the odd habit of walking around backwards, which her caretakers believe is a protest of her frustration.

So the zoo has come up with a plan that Love Connection host Andy Cohen would approve of: They’re going to introduce Meng Meng to a male panda named Jiao Qing (who is three years her senior) and also on the hunt for…ahem…romance.

Giant pandas who live in captivity are generally kept apart for safety reasons, but now that Meng Meng has reached sexual maturity, they’ll let her meet up with Jiao Qing during mating season (between February and May). At that point, she can “focus all her energy on seducing her partner,” Berlin Zoo director Andreas Knieriem told the Berliner Zeitung newspaper.

They are hoping that once she experiences sex, she will forget all about her bad habits and adopt a more relaxed, carefree lifestyle. (Until pregnancy ruins all of that, of course.)

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