"There's a difference between racy and rape-y," she says.

Sep 30, 2013 - The Dish

Most authors would celebrate the release of a new book by hosting signings, posing for pictures with fans, and generally feeling good about a job well done. It's been a totally different story for Melissa Gorga.

Since her new book Love Italian Style has hit shelves, the Real Housewives of New Jersey star has come under fire. One website, Jezebel, attacked Melissa and her husband Joe for controversial statements made in the book, specifically that the couple condoned marital rape.

Melissa is staying quiet no longer. In her latest Bravotv.com blog post, she addresses the quote in the book where Joe says every woman wants to have her hair pulled and clothes ripped off. "It's not meant to be read literally," she writes. "Joe would be in serious trouble he tore my clothes! His point is that women like feeling taken—within the trust and safety of a mutually respectful relationship. Fans of Fifty Shades of Grey can attest that there's a difference between racy and 'rapey.' When Joe and I talk about dominance and submission, it's racy. It's about a man being a man, a woman being a woman, a man taking charge and a woman letting it happen—consensually."

She goes on to point out how the author who attacked her book omitted key bits of information. While Joe does write that he would not change diapers, he clarifies his statement by saying "I get on the floor and play with my kids."

Other critics have chimed in that Melissa's definition of a modern-day wife is more of a "throwback" to gender roles which are now considered obsolete. While she agrees, she admits that she is an "unapologetic traditional wifey, and that makes me happy...He also supports me to no end, tells me he loves me and that I am beautiful every single day, and has my back no matter what...Our marriage is a two-way street."

Still, that does not mean she doesn't have any feminist values. "Hardcore feminists are allowed to cook and decorate, too, amirite, Jezebel? Or not? Clearly, that reporter's ideals about marriage are different than mine. Good for her. To each her own...I hope people will judge my book after they've actually read it, not just on one article on a notoriously snarky blog that misconstrued my message in order to get hits."

What do you think about Melissa's response? Tell us in the comments.


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