The RHONJ stars say respect, flirting and "sexy underwear" are keys to success.

on Aug 27, 2013 - The Dish

When it comes to keeping a marriage hot, no couple knows better than Real Housewives of New Jersey stars Joe and Melissa Gorga.

The duo hit the red carpet at this weekend's MTV VMAs, where Melissa was promoting her new single, and when asked how they keep their marriage steamy, the couple had plenty of answers.

"Respect," Joe answered.

"Men are very visual," Melissa told the Hollywood Reporter. "They see with their eyes."

When pushed for specifics, she revealed, "You need to shave your pits, and your legs. Flirt with each other. Keep it young and fresh, even when you are together for years and years."

Joe had a one idea on his mind: "Sexy underwear," he said.

In the past, Melissa has taken a more serious tone regarding how to keep a strong bond with her husband. The key is keeping it real and acknowledging that every relationship has its ups and downs.

"Joe and I have a real marriage. We argue. We struggle. We don't put on an act like we're happy and laughing all the time," she said. "That's not who we are, or what we want to represent."

Melissa's new book, Love Italian Style: the Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage, is out September 17.

What do you think about their secrets to a happy, sexy marriage? Do you agree? Tell us in the comments.

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