Beyond Bravo

Who Should Be Paying For Dates These Days?

More and more, guys are not footing the whole bill.

Amanda, a 25-year-old accountant from New York, went on a date to one of the cheapest places you can go—a frozen yogurt shop. While there her date carefully picked his topping, weighed his purchase and then paid, but just for his delicious treat. Amanda, who was standing behind him in line was embarrassed when she was forced to fork up for her own froyo. And it didn’t stop there. They then went to the movies, and when the ticket seller asked if they would be paying together or separately her gentleman of a date spat out, “separately.” Amanda did not see prince charming ever again.

Then there’s Sarah, a 24-year-old dietician from New York, who went out for a simple coffee with a guy who went to the counter to pay. Sarah naively thought her date would pay for her cappuccino, but she was sadly mistaken. Instead this cheap Charlie sat back down and told Sarah she better skedaddle up to the counter and pony up her share of the bill

Are women expecting men to pick up the bill on a first date wrong? Who pays for days these days?

Technology is even allowing guys to be cheapskates with the touch of an app. Venmo, a peer-to-peer payment app which can be used for roommates to share utility bills, is being used by frugal fellas. Some men are using the app to charge women for their half of a restaurant bill after going out on a date. Women are coming home to find they owe for those slices of pizza. 

But it’s not only the men who are penny pinching.

There is the phenomenon of single gals swiping dates on Tinder just to get some free grub. 

Lily, 27, from New York, reveals that at least five of her single girlfriends have said to her, “girl gotta eat” to justify their shady behavior.

Diane Gottsman, a national etiquette expert and owner of The Protocol School of Texas, admits that picking up the check is an awkward moment in dating situations.

“Traditionally, years ago men were expected to pick up the tab for women because men were the primary wage earners,” she says. “But it’s 2016 and in today’s society, the protocol is very simple. The person who extends the invitation is also the one responsible for the bill and the gratuity.”

Also the length of time you’ve been dating influences who pays and how often Diane notes.

“As  your relationship becomes more serious, and the invitations and outings are less formal, the formality of who pays also gets more relaxed, especially if one person is primarily doing all of the planning and paying most of the time or funds are being co-mingled,” she says. “Finally, romantic relationships are no longer solely male/female, another reason gender plays a less dominant role in who pays (and tips!)

So in other words don't be cheap whatever gender you are. 

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