How Can You Heal When You've Been Completely Blindsided By a Breakup?

We feel for you, Pete Davidson. 

Pete Davidson joked that his breakup with Ariana Grande felt like being “kicked in the d--k.”

“[I feel like] a good guy that just keeps getting kicked in the d--k,” he said during a standup set at Largo in Los Angeles this past weekend. “You're like, ‘Ah, that f---ing poor kid. Hope he doesn't kill himself.’”

He added that he was “looking for a roommate,” since he no longer lives in the singer’s $16 million New York City apartment, and joked that now he had a few tattoos that needed covering up. “Um, I've been covering a bunch of tattoos, that's fun. I’m f---king 0 for 2 in the tattoo department. Yeah, I'm afraid to get my mom tattooed on me, that's how bad it is.”

And although he was performing, it took his all to be there, he said, telling the crowd, “I think you could tell I didn’t want to be here… There's a lot going on.” He had previously canceled a gig at Temple University in Philadelphia due to “personal reasons.”

The two had been in a whirlwind romance for five months before Ariana pulled the plug — and Pete was the last one to see it coming. How can you heal when you feel so in love but the other person cuts it off cold?

"When a relationship or an engagement — or even a marriage ends suddenly, it’s really important to take care of yourself," relationship expert April Masini says.

Here are some ways to get over those blindsiding break ups:

Get away.

"Get out of town, get out of your routine, and give yourself a break," Masini says. (And Pete did just that.) "You may not realize you’re walking around numb, but you probably are. Taking yourself out of your normal way of life is going to give you the opportunity to feel your feelings. When you’re just going through the motions in your regular, daily routine, you don’t have the same chance to heal that you do when you get away and get out of the grind and the routine."

Surround yourself with supportive people.

"Actively eliminate frenemies and those who are a drag on your energy," Masini says. "Your team is built during times like these when you realize who’s really there for you and who isn’t. Don’t pick up calls from frenemies, and make sure you have a lot of contact with those people who are supporting your healthy healing and self-esteem."

Make plans.

"Even if it’s manicures, yoga class, lunch with a neighbor, dinner with grandma — having places to go and things to do can give you a sense of purpose that a breakup saps from your sense of self esteem. It’s easy to feel rejected, lonely, and down when you’re hit with a break up. Keeping your life purposeful will help against those negative feelings."

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