Weddings

This Is the Contract You Should Make Every Bridesmaid Sign

...Especially if you want to stay friends after the wedding.

After working as a professional bridesmaidyes, I'm serious — for four years, one of the things I’ve witnessed firsthand is that weddings shake up friendships. A bride goes from having a strong tribe of close friends, the kind of people she can rely on for every single thing, from late night vent sessions to Sunday shopping trips, to having them quit the bridal party and refuse to even show up on the wedding day.  

Friendships get murky when the bride’s wedding requests go AWOL and, all of a sudden, being a bridesmaid, which was supposed to feel like a breeze, now turns into a position that feels like a part-time job, filled with expensive demands, outrageous requests, and tasks that are fit for a wedding planner. 

If you’re a bride-to-be about to pick your bridal squad, hand them over this contract to read, review, and sign, before they say I DO to being your bridesmaid. That way you’ll walk down the aisle without fearing that one or two of your bridesmaids will walk the opposite direction ... and out of your life completely.  

Dear Bridesmaid, 

The very first thing I want to tell you is thank you. After that, I want to immediately follow-up that phrase with one word you’ll hear me say again and again throughout the wedding adventure — sorry. Please know that when I say it I mean it. In the past, when we’ve gotten into an argument we’ve always found a way to get over it, get out of it, and get back together to share a bottle of wine. But planning a wedding is stressful and sometimes even feels like you’re under water in an ocean, unable to clearly see which way is up. Because of that, I know I’ll make a lot of mistakes, I know I’ll ask you to do extraordinary things, and I know I’ll come off as a kind of person I’m not usually. 

I asked you to be my bridesmaid because, in order for me to have the best possible trip down the aisle and night on the dance floor, I know that I need you by my side. You mean the world to me and as I formally enter a new “world” with my finance, there’s no greater honor than having you by my side through it all. 

That’s why I wrote up this contract, so that when things go south and our friendship starts to flicker, we have this document to bring us back together to what matters. 

I (the bride) promise not to ask you to spend your savings account on this wedding. When it comes to the bridesmaid dress, shoes, hair and makeup, and even bachelorette party requests, I will ask you what your budget is and will make sure you are never spending more money than you are comfortable spending. 

I (the bride) promise not to talk about my wedding drama 24/7 with you. I promise to have short vent sessions and keep them to a minimum of five minutes so that we can talk about other things and I can prove to you that you and your life matters to me.  

I (the bride) promise that when I get a little bridezilla that you (the bridesmaid) can put me in my place, you can call me out, and you can remind me of this very document. 

You (my bridesmaid) promise to let me know upfront any obligations or concerns you have about the wedding. That way, we don’t have to deal with any resentment down the road. If you’re busy at work and can’t help with something, promise that you’ll let me know. If you’re concerned that being a bridesmaid is going to cost too much or take up too much time, let me know. 

You (my bridesmaid) promise to have fun. If you notice that all of my wedding chaos is making you stressed, you promise to let me know you need a break. You promise that if it starts feel like being a bridesmaid is a part-time job, you let me know. Our friendship matters and I want you to forever know that.

Thank you.

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