Cast Blog: #MATCHMAKER

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Making a Match: Crashing Chilli's Date!

Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Patti Turns NeNe's Bridesmaids to Brides

A Waste of a Good Mirror

Getting a Nice Guy for Rachel Uchitel

Breaking 'Matchmaker' History

Two Millionaires That Shouldn't Be Single

The Critical Dick Goes Home Alone

A Dorky Doc and a Hopeless Romantic

Carson Kressley, the Millionaire Whisperer

Patti's Vlog: Everyone Gets a Valentine!

Patti's Vlog: Patti's the Love Doctor

Patti's Vlog: Stefan Richter Tried to Date Patti!

A Bashful Beauty and a Not-So-Golden Oldie

A Shallow Old Dog and a Sweet River Rat

What Rosie Wants and a Gay Hugh Hefner

Great Expectations and the Running Man

Courtney Kerr and a Swedish Peacock

Sarcastic Cheban and a 'Man-diego' Bachelor

Sweetheart Swayze and a Virtual Phantom

Patti's Biggest, Most Tempting Mixer Yet

A Red-Hot Night for the Millionaires

Time for Some Spice: The Ginger Mixer!

Gaynor Gets the Girl (So Does Allison!)

Adam Gaynor Wins, Allison Baver Skates By

Patti Says Leave Boss at the Business

Chef K Wins One for the Lesbian Team

Mitch Berger, NFL Peter Pan, Grows Up

Johnny Out Sweets Yigit

Sweet Yigit Gets No Sugar on His Date

Just Robin Being Robin

Robin Kassner Gets Serious

The Rules According to Aimee

Matt "The Candy Man" Riviera

Time for Patti to Give Me a Raise

Skeet Shooting is a Bad Date Idea

Let the Man Be the Man on a Date

Irv's Nerve

Patti's Favorite Episode

My Favorite Client Ever

Bye-Bye Bradley, Hello Kitty

Rachel agrees with Bradley on one thing (and one thing only) and spills on Robin Kassner's comeback.

Here, Kitty-Kitty...

I have a joke for you…a pink kitty and a sleazy lawyer walk into a bar. OUCH! OK so I didn’t say it was going to be funny. Yes, that’s right, this week was just purr-fectly awful. Robin “Pink Kitty” was back, and ready to buy yet another man a Ducati all while giving him a little somethin’ somethin’ under a table. Oh joy. As if that wasn’t torture enough, I thought it would be just grand to bring back Bradley the schmuck who went out with Stephanie. Double joy. 

To recap, Bradley is in his 30s, a lawyer, has dated over 400 women, and has two thousand friends on Facebook. Oh, and you know that scene in My Cousin Vinnie when… Ah, just kidding, I won’t go there. This really was quite the looney-toon week for me, so I will go straight the nitty-gritty kitty. 

How amazing did our little Miss Meow look after her make-over?  No more alley cat: she turned out to be quite the refined feline. I cannot express how proud I was of Robin for choosing two normal guys, especially my personal favorite, Joseph. Dev, of course, flaked (I could tell he was not as into it as he played… guess he wasn’t Superman after all). The real hero was Joseph, with his coming out to save the day and being so sweet. Sadly, Robin stuck to her usual ways and wanted her hunk. Ah well, it’s back to the pound for her.

Back to Bradley: he chose the sweet Nicole, who was a great pick. Of course, once again, we get another sweaty date bouncing on trampolines.  This is something I would do with my three-year-old son, not something I would do on a date!  After the jumping and sweating and racing Brad showed his true colors at dinner with his lack of compliments and lousy wit.  The only thing I have to agree with Bradley about is that you don’t need to flaunt your cash to get the girl.  Sorry Patti, I have to side with douche-boy on this one.

Bradley, remember the scene in Jerry McGuire when she says, “You had me at hello?”  Well, you had us at goodbye.  Looks like it’s back to your two thousand Facebook pals and dating another 400 women for you.

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Making a Match: Larry Birkhead & Melyssa Ford

Find out what Patti really thought about sexy Melyssa and shy guy Larry's dates.

This week I got to meet one of the sweetest guys in the world, Larry Birkhead: the boy from Kentucky. There’s just one problem: he hasn’t dated in like a decade. This guy needs practice. I mean, he’s drop dead gorgeous and he can’t do anything. I can send him out into the world and the world of a mixer and a date, but he could botch it. Candace and I will give him some mock dating experience and I will pick his date for him. The first time he’ll meet her will be when they go out for the first time. No chance for him to get nervous, and more importantly, no time for the girl to look him up and see who he is. He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

He can stand on his own two feet and just be himself, not Anna Nicole’s ex.

My other client this week is drop dead gorgeous: Melyssa Ford. She’s the star of Blood Sweat and Heels, she used to be in a bunch of music videos, and she was nicknamed the "Video Vixen". I know it’s hard to turn off the beauty and the booty, so I bring her to doctor Pat Allen. Doctor Pat and I have worked together for years. Doctor Pat told Melyssa that she should be leading with her brain. Melyssa can be sexy no matter what: but can she look for the guy who’s interested in what she has to say, not what she looks like?

So I’m doing something new: I get Candace and David to bring a bunch of good appropriate men and women to the mixer. I just want a handful of guys for Melyssa, and a handful of girls for Larry. I introduce the best ones to Melyssa for her to choose from, and I’ll pick the best girl to set up Larry with on a blind date. Melyssa picks Jay. Jay listened to the conversation, and remembered Melyssa liked bowling and cigars. And he took her on a perfect, fun, get-to-know-you date. Meanwhile, Larry met up with his date at Universal Studios. He had a private tour set up, and he and Michelle met for the first time. They had a blast. She knew who he was, but they got past that and they got to know each other. And he took her for dinner and even got a kiss at the end.

So in the end, I’m so happy that both Larry and Melyssa got to learn something. Larry got to know he can be himself and there’s no need to be shy, and she knows (Melyssa) that there are guys out there who can look past her booty and see the great girl underneath.

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