Splits

Alexis Bellino Has the Right Attitude About Divorce — Here's Why

She's embracing her new chapter in the wake of her split from Jim Bellino.

The Real Housewives of Orange County alum Alexis Bellino recently split from husband Jim Bellino after 13 years of marriage, confirming last month in a statement: "It is with heavy hearts that we inform the public of our mutual decision to end our marriage — but it’s important to us that you know we made this choice together, with love, and as the best decision for our children’s future.”

The two will co-parent their 12-year-old son, James, and 10-year-old twin girls, Melania and Mackenna.

Alexis certainly isn’t paralyzed by the end of her marriage. In fact, following the news of her divorce, she recently took to Instagram in a LBD to say: "Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending."

Relationship expert April Masini says some people are completely unable to even get through a divorce emotionally, so Alexis is starting off in a really good place.

“[Her attitude] is optimistic and healthy,” Masini says. “She’s clearly done a lot of processing about her marriage and its ending. Some people process quickly. Others, slowly. Some, never. Clearly, when you do the work, and figure out what went right, what went wrong, and why, you’re much more able to move forward with grace and even happiness.”

With divorce as common as it is, it no longer has to be automatically viewed as a failure, no matter the reason for the split.

“We now live in a world where divorce is the norm, and rather than see it as a failure, seeing it as part of the flow of life allows people to be OK with a relationship with an ex and to move on with whatever comes next,” Masini says, adding that there are a lot of (divorced) fish in the sea.

“Because there are so many divorced people, there are lots of people to date and people to have new relationships with in the future,” she says. “Remarriage at 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 and even older, is no longer a new thing. It’s the norm. People are beginning to see marriage as less than a death-do-us-part agreement, and more as a until-this-relationship-ends agreement.”

Alexis wisely “shifted the focus” from her marriage failing to herself, Masini says.

She’s the star of her life, and that’s a good place to be when you divorce. Instead of trying to mourn and replace an ex, she’s focusing on what works now, and what assets she has to work with. When you do this, you’re less likely to feel bitter, angry and depressed. Thumbs up to her, and to everyone who can move forward from divorce with grace.” 

Credit: Alexis Bellino/Instagram

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Alexis Bellino Splits

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