The whole bringin’ your ninja repartee between Jason and Neal last week has had me thinking a lot about ninjas. I am not sure I would want my sous chef to be a ninja. It’s a hard job to begin with, what with inventory, working the line, keeping your kitchen crew making great food, and then you add sharpening throwing stars, and talking slightly out of sync with the motion of your mouth. I am just looking for a talented chef who does inventory really well and understands that they need to nurture a crew to be better everyday. And what do you pay a ninja? Do they have checking accounts? Really opens up a lot of questions.
But all this ninja talk made me order a Ninja Kitchen System Blender, the Ginzu knife of Smoothie town, and I will stick with my VitaMix, thank you. Then there’s ninja cinematography. I have the classic Azumi on hold at the video store, cause Netflix brings up Au Pair Girls (1972) when I search Azumi. I will find time to watch Au Pair Girls, but it seems a little off topic.
So the maestros arrive and soon find out that four of them will be without sous chefs while four will have the assistance of their fine employees. This hurdle was decided in the previous Battle of the Sous Chefs where Ted, Drew, Nick, and Chris lost in the food package challenge. No Quickfire today, and we will get right into the action. It is RESTAURANT WARS.
Restaurant Wars is the most feared episode of the season because, without a doubt, one of the chefs, usually one playing maître d’, will have some major issues. They will express complete dissatisfaction, as their team plates their food for them back in the kitchen. They will hobble through niceties at the host stand, and leave customers hanging as they coddle the judge's table. Trust me. I have seen it too many times. Set your watch to it, cause this time it’s Jennifer who succumbs to the front-of-house blues.
Team Bluecoats/72 & Sunny: Sue, Douglas, Sang, and David.
Team Redcoats/Artisan Restaurant: Jennifer, Bryan, Neal, and Lynn.
Busy Philipps is pregnant and hungry for a diverse L.A. experiential restaurant, kind of like a potpourri of Wolfgang Puck Express, the Viper Room, the Brown Derby, Pinks, a donut place and In ‘n’ Out Burger. I am "busy" these days and had to Google who Busy was. She seems very nice. My lack of TV knowledge is abhorrent.
Luckily, the two remaining L.A. chefs have balanced out each team, so we don’t have too much provincial favoritism. The Cobb salad expertise is even. This is making me hungry, and I do love a good Cobb salad.
David is yearning to do pourover coffee for the guests. I am with Burke on this one. Sang is not. You can woo people with great coffee after a great meal. I call it the bookends of cocktails and coffee, and I like them paid attention to. But, perhaps Sang is on to something because Restaurant Wars is harried mayhem and concentrating on the core food is probably smart…. Let’s be honest, it’s not a real restaurant. Real restaurants are mayhem for much longer than a day.