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Hugh Acheson

Das Boot

Hugh Acheson explains why Stefan's pork really didn't work.

Jan 30

They are chatting while having a pyjama party. They wake up to pick their protein. Lizzie wants that little piggy. Sheldon makes his safe picks. They go shopping in the belly of the beast. Sheldon was Goofy for a season at Disney World. We would have never met because, no joke, my youngest is terrified of mascots. 

Lizzie is butchering up a storm. They all cook and push the limits of food as we know it. Josh has attempted to make scallop pasta and this has turned into a complete fail. He turns it into scallop scrambled “eggs,” which sounds vile, but was actually pretty good. This boy only knows breakfast. Everything is breakfast.

They get a break and move into their staterooms, then back to work they go. 

We are dining with some of the ship’s leadership. Nice seafaring people they are. The quintet wrestle their strange plates together. Brooke has made a Papadum thing with frogs' legs and mussels. The Hotel Director is also named Sheldon. Weird. The Papadum is a little oily but otherwise she did a good job. Stefan has made a tooth crackin’ pork belly with eel ravioli and beer sauce. I can understand the dish but the sauce is not good and the pork is not right. Curtis loves the crunchy pork but the rest of us like our teeth and disagree with this Australian predilection. Anyhow, his teeth are so perfect I suspect they aren’t real. On to Josh who has made a scrambled scallop with braised pork belly and bacon bits. It was like scallop grits. Strange but oddly good. We were all a little flummoxed by how good it was. 

Sheldon is taking us on another Asian journey by way of an Outback by the mall. Steak with lobster tempura and stuff. Not his best effort. Very boring. My point on the tempura is very valid. It’s a horrible way to cook for masses of people. Lizzie is fighting with the oven again. Digital beeps make things slightly better, but her cabbage rolls are a little al dente. The scallops were good, the pork was good, and it kind of worked, except for the non-pliable cabbage. It just lacked flair in the end, but I will give her high marks for cooking a suckling pig in that amount of time. 

At Judges Table', my posture is insanely good. My grandmother would be very proud. Brooke wins. She wins another cruise, which is great cause she hates boats. Lizzie and Josh are safe. Stefan packs up his knives. 

Look, I make fun of Stefan a lot, but at the end of the day he’s a very talented chef who has a very big heart. He’s just a little icky. Stefan, we’ll have a beer and talk about it sometime. Godspeed to you, Stefan. 

Follow me on that twitter @HughAcheson

 

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franci 177 pts

LOL, Stefan is not icky, he is European and it shows...a whole different  attitude..he can cook for me anytime!

crockakins 13 pts

I've been pondering a word that best describes Stefan.... I agree he has a big heart but, yeah, "icky" just about covers it.

pk_sea 10 pts

Hugh, you seem a bit snotty, but I enjoy your wit and writing in your blogs.  Funny stuff.  Keep it up.

waffles 6 pts

I guess it was Stephan's time, but I wonder how anything could be worse than cold flaccid tempura and a wimpy dynamite sauce...Shame, will miss Stephan's charisma and good humour...the rest of the chefs are a tad boring, not a particularly scintillating season... 

Dafni 5 pts

are you kidding me? did you really say Stefan is connected to the AXIS because he is on a boat???!! How racist are you? And to say Stefan is "icky"? what is YOUR problem or are YOU just stupid?? There is no need for that crap. I thought you were a little twerp but now I am sure. What a jerk you are. Thumper said "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" If you don't like Stefan, critique his food not where he is FROM. BTW, Finland is not AXIS!!!! BTW I have been to his restaurant and his food IS fabulous PLUS he comes over to the tables to chat up the customers and is extremely gracious I don't think I have ever been to any other restaurant where the owner is SOOO gracious (NO I do not have a crush on Stefan, I am over 60 and married)

parker85 13 pts

 Dafni First of all, the axis crack was a joke. Second of all how is it racist? What race are you talking about? The Aryan race? Nationality is not race.

Dafni 5 pts

@parker85 sorry you are right. racist is the wrong word. i should have said that i found the axis comment to be offensive

AugustaGa 36 pts

I have spoken to my boss, who is from Germany, and my girlfriend, who was stationed in Germany, and they indicate that the pork was cooked correctly for the areas they were from. This is backed up by what Curtis said as well. They said the skin should be almost like cracklings. Hugh, Being located in the south, I would have thought you would have found a similarity there and been more appreciative. Least I hope you would know what cracklings are and how they differ from fat back. Then again I am cant be sure that you have had either, which would be blasphemy for the south. mmmmm crackling biscuits. But I digress. It a shame that it was percieved as a cooking flaw since it appears to be an unfamiliarty with the cooking style. If his pork and eel pasta where truly the worst tasting I can accept that but like I said I hope the cooking style did not play the biggest part in stefans booting.

parker85 13 pts

 AugustaGa Were they on the boat? How do they know that the pork was cooked correctly? I have had good German food with a hard skin, but it's usually not that black, plus Tom pointed out that some of the meat was hard because it, and the skin, were not fully covered by the braise. I think that's where the problem was. Not only was the skin as hard as it was but also some of the meat as well. I was rooting for Stefan but he messed up. 

shysharon 1985 pts

good description, Hugh! He's kinda lovable, kinda not!

Mona_Munaki 1040 pts

It kind of sounds like none of the meals were up to Top Chef expectations at Elimination.  We already know that Stefan was on his way out based on TC Host's comments about him this season.  WE also know Stefan will not win LCK because Kristin is in for the lock.  It was fun, watching Jen, Fabio, Spike  and Richard in Life After TC.  I'd like to see Stefan, CJ and ___?____ on a follow up show.   Or just give Stefan his own show...even if you think he's creepy, Hugh!

jerseygirl_aatrh 328 pts

So Chef Hugh, what's the deal with Josh. He's probably a better chef than he comes off as on the show, but he doesn't seem to be on the same level as the others. Plus he only seems comfortable making comfort foods.  

 

 

JantinaH 13 pts

Oh Chef Hugh.  You're just as funny as Stefan is sexy.  Very!  Doubting that Chef Stone's teeth were real is hilarious.  LMAO!!!

pianist33 208 pts

Anybody else tired of Hugh's superior attitude? How did he get to be a judge anyhow? 

I'm so over that....

dreamdancer_SC 10 pts

 pianist33 NO! I love Hugh's blog posts, he is witty and suave.

rnkat 2898 pts

 pianist33 Some would say he got to be a judge because he is a successful chef with a knack for throwing down a witty bon mot.  I, however, believe it was because of his superior posture and heroic unibrow.

delusional 245 pts

 pianist33

 Oh no you didin'...............If there is anything to be into on TC, it is Hugh Acheson!  Not only a brilliant chef, but the best writer on the show.  Take that back!

ATLFoodie 18 pts

 pianist33 

Recipe for a judge:

 

3 Restaurants

2 James Beard Awards

1 Unibrow

Combine with an excellent sense of humor

 

 

motherhubbard 40 pts

 ATLFoodie  pianist33 Add an amazing talent for writing.

borbor 40 pts

 pianist33 You're crazy. Hugh is hilarious. 

Dafni 5 pts

@pianist33 i absolutley agree with you. even before reading his blog, I was wondering how Hugh got to be a judge I'd like to see Hugh go into some competition cooking show and see how HE does; then let's see if he still has the superior attitude

Beesbad 1311 pts

 Dafni  You're kidding right? Season 3, Top Chef Masters, after being eliminated early he comes back as a replacement and finishes 5th of 12.

 

I love his superior attitude.

JLN1925 32 pts

started giggling uncontrollably when Stefan leaned over the balcony and said he and Sheldon were on a gay cruise.

stefanfrichter@yahoo.com 42 pts

 JLN1925 lol funny i dont remember saying it ha ha ;-)

 
TheCountess 54 pts

Stefan will always have my heart for tricking Josie into saying, "I'm going home next."

 

I don't get Josh.  He constantly reminds us he's so middle America (where men don't get manicures and sushi doesn't exist) but he dresses like a wanna-be hipster doofus straight out of Portlandia.  Shave that Snidely McWhiplash and try making something other than breakfast and without pork.  

stefanfrichter@yahoo.com 42 pts

 TheCountess

 ha ha i love that to she repeadet it so nicley ;-)

TheCountess 54 pts

 stefanfrichter@yahoo.com Ha, Stefan you are a hoot!  I hope someday to check out Farm or, failing that, that you open up a restaurant in Boston.  Best of luck to you and thank you for being so gracious in your exit. 

stefanfrichter@yahoo.com 42 pts

thank you for the inside. I really enjoyed season 10 and hugh you crack me up. thank you for the fun comments and i love to have a beer and some pork cracklings soon.

pianist33 208 pts

 stefanfrichter@yahoo.com I agree. You are the BEST. Clearly come person (PL) has it out for you. You should still be there, but, you know there's other things in life besides Top Chef. All the best to you and your family....got to love a guy who loves his mom. Much success. And you're super hot too! LOL

stefanfrichter@yahoo.com 42 pts

 pianist33  stefanfrichter@yahoo.com

 thank you very much

franci 177 pts

 pianist33  stefanfrichter@yahoo.com Yup, I've been getting the same impression...a certain host dosn't seem to be following the proper criteria during the judging...

kpisaro 5 pts

Thanks, Hugh! I fell asleep early last night and missed everything after the quick fire and Lizzie complaining about the ovens, so I'm glad you write such comprehensive, humorous reviews.  I can so see all of that happening in this episode!  Have you thought about writing some sort of food column somewhere on a regular basis?  I'd read it!  

LAMusing 41 pts

Austrailian's also like Vegimite.  They are alone in this. 

 

 

Vic2012 99 pts

Best part of this episode was when they showed the save a chef results...CJ 94% Josie 6%.

dadrwl 10 pts

 Vic2012 Looks like Josie could not even get the lesbian vote!

 

jerseygirl_aatrh 328 pts

 Vic2012 Had it not been for Don King, it would have been 100% to 0%.

bakergirl 22 pts

 Vic2012 Yes!  I laughed so much - it was AWESOME!

TheCountess 54 pts

 Vic2012 And probably 95% of the 6% voting for Josie is from Josie herself.

franci 177 pts

 TheCountess  Vic2012 I hate to say it, but right from the start this season I have had the feeling that there was some kind of deal in the works between Padma and Josie.  Josies' attitude seemed like she had it in the bag and didn't have to bother making a real effort.  Padma looked very displeased when she finally had to tell her she was out.