Are You The Type To Tell A Friend Their Partner Is Cheating?

Are You The Type To Tell A Friend Their Partner Is Cheating?

Some will stay out of it, some will run right to the friend with the bad news. 

By Marianne Garvey

What a tough situation. Bethenny Frankel’s been in it, on TV no less. But what if it’s you? You see with your own eyes, or you have proof that your good friend’s partner is cheating or has cheated. Great. Now what do you do?

Do you sit in silence and think it’s none of your business, or do you pipe up and sit your friend down and tell them what you know, then deal with the consequences.

Kimberly, 34, says, “it depends on the friend and friendship and situation.”

“A lot of times people blame the messenger in these cases. Or they're embarrassed and it hurts the friendship. Mostly, I would be inclined to stay out of it. If the relationship had been damaging in an ongoing way, and the friend needed to leave and could and be okay, and this was something that would make that possible, then absolutely.”

You do have to take into account losing your friend, and if you’re friends with the couple, both friends.

David, 35, would come right out with it, saying, “I would divulge everything and make sure that my friend knew every single detail.”

Jaime, 32, says, “Are you watching Jersey Shore?! I've been watching for two hours. It was the one where Snooki and Jenni write the anonymous letter to Sammi that Ron is cheating. That's why I asked hahahaahaha.”

But seriously, “If it were one of my closest friends, I'd tell them. If it was just a friend, I'd stay out of it.”

Amy, 53, says, “Yes. yes. and yes. If I knew with total certainty.”

Joe, 41, says, “ I found my cousin's wife at Yonkers Raceway with some guy many years ago , I approached her and she introduced me to the guy . I decided not to tell my cousin and be the cause of any drama…eventually they did divorce, to this day I never said anything to him.”

Brett, 44, says, “circumstances certainly play into it.”

“If the cheat is gratuitous it makes it tougher to repeat it to your friend. I would find a way to soften the blow...but yes...your friend deserves to know.”

Deb, 45, says, “Tell.”

Maureen, 36, says, only if she really cared about the friend.

“Only if it was someone I cared for. I would encourage them to tell their partner or end the affair. then distance myself and let them work it out. Once I am aware of the situation I would refuse to be put in a situation of lying or allowing someone I love hurt themselves or people close to them. This type of stuff is toxic for everyone close to the cheater. It's dysfunctional and I don't want to be an enabler.”

Maria, 28, says, “absolutely I will tell tell them if someone was cheating on him or her. It would be terrible for the person obviously, but they would respect me more for telling them.”

And Mary, 40, says, “Tough question. Just yes or no?"

“Are they married? I think yes…eventually yes.”

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