What To Do (And Definitely Not Do) When You Run Into An Ex Friend And It's Still Weird

What To Do (And Definitely Not Do) When You Run Into An Ex Friend And It's Still Weird

So there they are. S**t. 

By Marianne Garvey

When Jill Zarin was asked on Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen how she would handle a run in with her old pal Bethenny Frankel, she said: "I think I would say, 'I don't even remember what it was about. I don't even remember what we fought about.'"

She added, "I'd give her a hug and a kiss, absolutely.”

It’s very sweet, but that’s actually not always the best approach. According to international etiquette expert and the founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach, Jacqueline Whitmore, the less is more approach works. In other words, don’t go grabbing for a hug when things may still be awkward.

“It depends how bad the falling out was, you can turn the other cheek or kill them with kindness,” Jacqueline says, adding there are proper ways to handle both.

“You can just turn the other cheek and ignore the person, a lot of women do that in defense,” she says, adding that if you choose this route, do not talk smack about the other person while in the room.

“Don’t gossip behind their back,” Jacqueline says. “If you are in the same room, don’t say ‘I can’t stand her,’ it creates a negative aura in the room and it’s counterproductive to your own sense of happiness and well being. Let bygones be bygones.”

If you can’t stand them or talking to them or even looking their way, “don’t say anything at all,” Jacqueline adds.

“Take the high road. You’ll be looked at more favorably if you don’t stir up negativity. You can have grace and diplomacy and that will make you look like the hero,” she says, adding “however it takes a stronger woman to smile and say ‘hello.’”

“That doesn’t mean you have to shake their hand and be buddy-buddy,” she adds. “It takes a strong woman to take the high road and be kind. That goes for any type of relationship involving people who fell out and have mutual friends. I would say nothing if I’m still hurt, but if you hold a grudge it hurts no one but yourself.”

“You may not forget, but you can always forgive and move on. You don’t have to be friends. You can ignore them and mind your own business without being nasty or ugly. And there’s many things you can say depending on what happened…You can say ‘I hope there aren’t any hard feelings, I don’t harbor any hard feelings and I hope you feel the same.’ Even if we don’t like each other, I would like to be civil because we have to see each other.”

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