Bravo Insider Exclusive!

Create a free profile to get unlimited access to exclusive videos, sweepstakes, and more!

Sign Up for Free to View

An 'I Love Mary' Episode

Mary is happy you didn't see all of her embarassing remodeling antics, plus she reveals her age.

By Mary McDonald

First of all I have to say there wasn't enough time in an hour episode to show accurately how embarrassing this all was to me in all it's true glory. Everyone would have really seen an I Love Lucy episode, but the hour was too short OR the producer and editors were particularly kind. . .not sure which one yet. You have NO idea how many boxes were in the backyard when I was left at the end of unearthing previous lives from boxes. Way more. It was funny for only a second.

For those of you just tuned in, I moved back to a house I have owned a dozen years but only lived in briefly for a point with my ex. I had separated from living with him for 18 years so the entire thing is completely traumatic and I am a bit shocked I even let myself or my personal life be seen on this level, to be honest.

The one thing I have to say about it all is at least I know how to laugh. It really was a comedy of errors and BTW WHAT WAS THAT '80s STEREO? Even I had no idea what that was or where it came from -- SWEAR! I mean I can hoard, but it has a high-end quality or at least a low end stylish one.

I am still laughing watching Nathan telling me to throw out the lampshade. . .I actually used it. . .SWEAR!

Mary's House Tour

OK another thing. . .This was "my Mary is chubby in a few bad outfits period" (at least for someone small). I think that beige, weird outfit I thought was so chic must go tonight. I am cutting that weird wool stewardess skirt up -- NO -- more like a nun. Right now as we speak. . .snip snip snip.

For someone that prides themselves on style I have really got to stop walking around in muscle shirts and old jeans on shoot days. I was delusional like I was Giselle or something.

Is Konstantin not gorgeosity at its best though? I love him and every crazy piece he paints and thing he says. He is such a good friend.

And while on the gay topic how great is that that those two gorgeous guys Jeffrey and Ross found each other? They should be engaged. They are perfect together. I want to look like Ross though. What's sad is I am serious. You guys should see him in person. He is as pretty as a girl. . .and at least a dozen years younger than I.

Well I should stop complaining because this is not a makeover show, but I have to say people email me with weird, rude emails about my age like I am 70 and hiding it. They are meant to be snarky and rude so I kind of laugh -- but people I am 48. I turned 48 this past December so STOP ASKING!!!

On that note though I found Lindsay Lohan much more attractive in kind of a sweet but womanly way that I have never seen her before. Anyone else agree? Thank God she was all right in that accident. Where was that house BTW? I have to ask Kathryn. It seemed surprisingly grown up and elegant for what I expected. I am a pink girl so I kind of liked the pink bed number. I am kind of a come hither kind of bed person myself, but please don't.

I LOVE Martyn's pub period. I think he did a fantastic job. It was exactly what a stylish pub for now with a nod to the past should look like. I know Martyn loves his Mum and sister, and I thought it was really great that he showed this entirely personal side. I love all the red and the banquettes and think it was great. Bravo! But Martyn needs to tell us all about the spirits they encountered there. Seriously. I was going to meet him there after India because I am into that sort of thing, but it kind of fell apart. My mum died 20 years ago, so I have an in there.

Historic Imperial Arms

I have to say for all of the long hours having a camera follow you around and all of the hours of embarrassing (and) glamorous footage they cought I think we all fared quite well.

Thank you fellow MDDs, the team at Rich Bye Productions, Rich Bye, One Kings Lane, Andy Cohen, and everyone at Bravo for giving this opportunity to show the world a slice of our lives and world!

Read more about:
Want the latest Bravo updates? Text us for breaking news and more!