We're here to say: It’s OK to make the first move, ladies.
In fact, it’s become more widely acceptable for women to text or hit on a guy first, according to a new survey by The League, an invite-only dating app.
The app analyzed data from 100 successful couples who had been dating for more than one year, and found that men will hit on women, but usually need a sign of interest first — eye contact, flirting, etc. But women tended to approach someone they thought was attractive just because.
“One out of every three straight couples started with a woman messaging first,” the survey said. “In the straight LeagueLove relationships that resulted in engagement, the woman spent less time per day on the app than the man did, but leveraged their Concierge three times more and had three times the initiation rate of a typical female user, even after normalizing for profile popularity.”
The most successful couples also had a slight age difference, an average of three years between them, and 80 percent had the same education level.
As for how many people you had to date or flirt with before you found a true connection, the average was found to be about 84 matches prior to finding love or a long-term relationship.
Many of those surveyed used a “power move” to land their partner, which was a sweet or funny direct message to a potential mate, along with a green heart emoji on the app to indicate interest.
According to The Washington Post, “women who make the first move increase their chances of dating more attractive men.”
“The study found that when a woman contacts a man first, 30 percent of those messages turn into a conversation. Women are 2.5 times more likely to get a response than men are when they initiate contact,” the WP reports.
It’s about women taking control. And old ideas are changing.
Psychology Today reports that “If you’re a die-hard evolutionary type, you’ll say that men will hunt, women will be hunted, and such will always be the case because it’s just hard-wired into our hunter-gatherer DNA. Research suggests that it isn’t simply gender (or sex) per se that influences who does the asking, but psychological factors handed down through generations of socialization, and teaching both genders that sexy women defer to a man, allowing him to be in control.”
Many modern women no longer exhibit helplessness or passivity when it comes to dating men.
“By giving women ‘permission’ to act first, all kinds of new relationships may emerge that would before have never materialized,” PT says. “And you don’t have to be hemmed in by society’s restrictions about who should ask and who should be asked. Find your own fulfillment in relationships by boosting your own sense of control, and you may be surprised by where it leads you.”
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