These Are the Things to Ask Yourself Before Making Your Relationship Official on Social Media

These Are the Things to Ask Yourself Before Making Your Relationship Official on Social Media

The Real Housewives of Atlanta's Phaedra Parks recently went public with her new beau on Instagram.

By Jen Glantz

Couples in 2019 have big decisions to make, like how to compromise on whose good side wins when it comes to taking joint pictures, or when it’s time to officially take your relationship to the next step ... and post those shots on social media.

Sounds like an easy process, but that's not the case for all couples. The Real Housewives of Atlanta alum Phaedra Parks practically broke the Internet when she posted a photo of herself and a mystery man on social media, spurring lots of speculation on who the guy is and if they were official. Mystery man, Chicago radio host Tone Kapone, came forward about their relationship via an Instagram story a few days later — and confirmed on Jan. 11 that it all started out when he "slid into her DMs." 

While most couples would love a relationship reveal to get "likes" from friends and strangers alike, Rori Sassoon, of Platinum Poire, suggests the best time to go "live" with your relationship, depends on how you both feel about sharing your private life over social media.

"You should definitely hold off on the couple postings until you have what you need to feel secure in the longevity of the relationship or until your relationship is 'officially, official'," says Sassoon.

Celeste Viciere, a licensed mental health clinician, says that some people use social media to validate their relationship, but generally speaking social media should never be a formal method used as a way to measure the relationship.

"Finding the right time to post about your relationship should really be a decision you make together with your partner. Though there is no 'right' or 'wrong' time to put it up, if you do decide to post about your partner, be mindful that you are putting your relationship on public display and opening it up to others' opinions," says Viciere.

Before you make a decision or even open up the floodgates and talk about this with your partner, Viciere advises to consider these questions first:

1. Are you doing this because you want everyone to know you're in a relationship? Keep in mind that if it does not work out, and you change your status to "single" again, people will also know or may ask questions.

2. Are both parties are comfortable with it?

3. Are you going to be expected to continue posting about your relationship?

“There are some relationships where one partner may be more active on social media while the other doesn't post frequently,” says Viciere. “The other partner choosing not to post on a regular basis should not define the strength of the relationship. Too many times, I have seen relationships take a negative turn once social media is involved. Before taking the plunge by posting about your relationship on social media, have an open conversation with your partner, and do not feel pressured to say yes right away if you are not ready."

When you've answered all the questions above and feel it's time to start sharing the details of your relationship and the fun you're having with your partner on social media, before the photos start flowing, there first needs to be a conversation to make sure you both are on the same page.

"Are there blurred lines? If so, I wouldn’t go social media," says Sassoon. "No one will care if you post your beau later on in the game. Too soon could be a nightmare. The more private you keep your private life in the early stages, the better you’ll be."

Sassoon says that after you've have been dating exclusively for a significant amount of time, you have said the "I love you’s" and you are established as a couple, that's a good time to have have the conversation to declare your exclusivity and whether you're both equally ready to post on social media about it.

How in the world do you navigate that conversation? Communication is key.

"Ask them "How do you feel about expressing relationships on social media? — Ask “Are you cool with me posting a photo here or there?” Find out If they are cool with it first, this is the way to go. Express what works for you or what would make you happy," says Sassoon.

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