One of the fastest ways to go from best friend to frenemy is messing with a social event, whether it's an important one you purposely skip out on or one that you didn’t make the guest list for. Handling these moments can put an automatic freeze on friendship or just make things plain old awkward.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills fans watched this play out when most of the 'Wives were not invited to Lisa Vanderpump’s birthday party and then she was a no-show at Camille Grammer's bridal shower. (Watch the preview clip for the April 16 episode above.)
Similarly, on a recent episode of The Real Housewives of New York City, Luann de Lesseps wants the girls to join her on a night out to watch a cabaret upstate and not everyone is up to it. (Watch Bethenny Frankel's reaction here.)
This all just goes to show, the more friends you have, the more RSVP questions you have.
Read on to find out the best ways to handle social invitations, whether you’re the one hosting the party or just trying to get out of going to one.
Your Friend is Having a Party and You Don’t Want to Go
People always say honesty is the best policy, but sometimes being too honest will just hurt our best friend’s feelings. The best way to get out of going to something you don’t want to go to is with the polite version of the truth. Rather than ghosting or saying you just don’t feel like going, admit the reason why and then follow up with a way to make it up to the friend.
Rather than saying, “I don’t feel up to going,” say, “I’m not feeling up to going because (fill in the blank with the polite reason) and instead, I’d love to plan to go to dinner this week or chat on the phone to catch up.”
A Good Friend Doesn’t Show up at Your Party
Wait for the party or event to be over before engaging in an interaction with the MIA friend. Rather than dishing your feelings directly to them with loads of emotion behind your words, start by asking them why they didn’t show up.
Once you hear their explanation, let them know how and why it hurt you. After that, it’s up to you how you chose to react, whether it’s keeping your distance from the friend or just letting this one slide if their reason was warranted.
Your Friends Won't Come to a Party if One Friend is There
If you’re hosting a party and there’s drama circling an invite given to a person who a handful of the people going to the party aren’t keen on, you have a decision to make. First, you can let that group of people know that you’re not axing the person they don’t like off the guest list and that they can just keep to themselves and keep their distance.
But if you think it’s going to be more drama than it’s worth, it might be a good idea to let that person know that there’s just too much drama and the thought of having them come and feel uncomfortable just doesn’t feel right.
Two Friends Have a Party on the Same Day at the Same Time
When your social calendar is constantly getting filled up fast, and you find that there are two parties on the same day or night, you’re faced with a tough decision. Prioritize which event to go to based on factors like which one you were asked to attend first, which one is a more important life event (ex: a wedding over a birthday party Vegas weekend), and which one fits into your life the best (ex: your budget and schedule allows for you to go without too much of a hassle). Try not to commit to either, or at least not both, before strategizing which one to go to.
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