My family (and especially my father) mean the world to me. I can’t tell you how much the talk with my dad touched my soul. He is an amazing man that went through hell in his life and therefore is hardened. I know he loves me, BUT it is just so hard to connect with him, and it is something I need to make happen for myself and for him. My trip to Copenhagen really helped to show him how much I love him and how much I value him as a father.
Having Mark and Zuri in Copenhagen was THAT MUCH MORE SPECIAL! We had a great couple of days together after the girls left! We went back to Tivoli Gardens, explored the city, visited The Little Mermaid, and so much more. Family time is everything!
So…on to the mess.
Just so we are clear as crystal, I have not been fake with my relationship with LeeAnne or my feelings about bad behavior. If there’s anything I’ve been wishy washy about, it’s where I stand with Brandi. I love that girl, but she really is provoking the sh-- out of LeeAnne. WHY? I’m actually mad at myself for not saying anything. Yes, I’m trying to find my voice, but I’m afraid it might be too late. I should have said more at the last dinner in Copenhagen, but I truly hate fighting, and I’m sure as sh-- not going to act a fool at a Michelin restaurant.
So…we want to talk about trust? That none of us trust LeeAnne? The truth is I’m actually getting to a good place of understanding with LeeAnne. Are we besties yet? Maybe I wouldn’t quite say that yet, but I truly believe we are getting to a place of mutual understanding and respect for one another as friends. When she’s right, she’s right, and when she’s wrong, I don’t hesitate to tell her anymore. Frankly, that’s why we are respecting each other!
Now, Brandi? There’s actually a real level of fear there right now for me…. She’s coming for LeeAnne like a freight train (and it’s feeling all too familiar to how she’s come for me/my family in the past). I’m genuinely afraid to let her too far into my world for fear of when or what she might turn against me too. I mean, it’s not lost on me that Brandi and LeeAnne were pretty good buddies last year, and now look at them. Even though she says Leeanne hasn’t changed, I’m actually seeing more of Brandi’s past behavior resurfacing. This is gonna be a really tough one for me to get over. Even tougher than my old drama with LeeAnne. After all, LeeAnne clearly hated me in the past, but Brandi was/is supposed to be my friend?!
I really think she just needs to cool her jets a little. Not everything is about you, sister, and most of the issues are just not that big of a deal. To me, she has been coming off as very attention seeking for a while now and so in love with drama (two things that REALLY don’t go over well with me). The queen bee thing is dumb—so is friend probation. Most of us are in our 40s (give or take)… Laugh it off and get a f---ing grip on reality! This sh--’s just not that deep, girl! It really doesn’t have to be. This is why I’m afraid I can’t say anything around you. Turning molehills into mountains (and for what?). I just don’t get it.
If you can’t tell, I feel like I’m finally finding my voice. I’ll let you in on a secret that may be obvious: I was abused by these girls last year…BADLY… I had to go to therapy to get over the traumatic experience of being shamed by these women. It takes so much time to not be scared, and I am finally not terrified. I’m going to try to voice my opinion more in the future. I’ve seen what fake looks like, and I never want to be a part of that.
So I gotta say for the record…don’t take someone’s phone. AND don’t say you are going to clone someone’s phone either. Seems pretty basic, but with this group… I’ve learned you gotta to spell things out.