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The Daily Dish Relationships

Wait, Some Couples Actually Have More Sex After Baby?

Enrique Iglesias swears his sex life with Anna Kournikova has heated up after they had twins.

By Marianne Garvey

Enrique Iglesias has a better sex life since his girlfriend, Anna Kournikova, gave birth to their 9-month-old kids, daughter Lucy and son Nicholas. Yes, the sex is with her.

“It’s probably more sex now than ever. The sex has not diminished," the singer told The Sun.

Unusual, to say the least. ("Lucky" is another word that comes to mind.) Most couples’ post-baby sex life is, well, non-existent. Mom’s dealing with hormones, dad hasn’t slept, and that combination plus new life in the house doesn’t make for much sexy time.

One therapist had an interesting take on Enrique’s sexed-up life after welcoming babies. New York-based therapist Brenda A. Lewis, LCSW, who specializes in helping clients with sex issues, said a number of things could be going on with the couple (or any couple who suddenly has a great sex life following a baby).

“First, it isn’t the norm,” she said. “Often people are exhausted, overwhelmed, and the intimacy of bonding with a child makes people disconnect from one another as a couple. They are staying connected emotionally while in the trenches for caring for a baby, that’s great, but not the norm. I tell people after six weeks it is important to have a date night and it is vital to maintain that foundation and have sex.”

The reason there could be more sex after baby?

“If a couple is having more sex after baby there could be anxiety about being overly maternal or paternal, there could actually be a denial that babies do take time and effort and you’re denying there’s a huge change that has just happened,” Brenda said. “Part if it is a massive adjustment in ones psyche and identity, and maintaining that creative and sexual vibe becomes important. There’s also another aspect, you may be unconsciously not allowing your partner to feel displaced or jealous or that your interests are going somewhere else as a mother. Because the truth is, women don’t normally feel that sexual after birth. Maybe she’s just giving him a whole lot of attention subconsciously. If you can make sure his needs are still being met, the quickest way to do that is sexually.”

Brenda added that when people's needs are met “they do things better as a team."

“She may also be thinking, ‘I’m not a nursing cow, there’s someone who finds me desirable, so I continue to be a sexual being.' It’s really all good,” she says. “It maintains the connection in the middle of a baby.”

Mindy Schiffman, PhD, Clinical Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist says birth can be a trauma, so an active sex life right after is pretty unusual.

“In my experience, with the trauma of the birth (to the woman’s body), and the exhaustion of caring for a newborn, it is rare that parents are able to be more sexual soon after baby,” she said. “But once the woman has healed from the birth, I’m sure there are some couple who feel more sexual and are able to act on it. And good for them! Getting back to a healthy sex life after a baby is a struggle for most couples.”

It was an unusual reveal for the singer. He and Anna met in 2001 when she starred in his video for “Escape,” but never admitted they were a couple. They even hid her pregnancy until their twins had arrived.

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