If you're confused or upset with Kanye West lately, you're not alone. Let’s see, there’s the Donald Trump comments, the slavery comments, his Twitter rants, his Saturday Night Live appearance. There’s all sorts of babble from Kanye about how he invented leather jogging pants and how he wishes he could watch himself perform, in addition to comparisons to Steve Jobs and a bunch of other verbal vomit that makes you feel like your earholes are broken and not processing sentences correctly.
But you are. It’s just Kanye West. And he likes to say things that only make sense in his head, a super special VIP club with a table for one where he spends most of his time.
However, his wife, Kim Kardashian, is occasionally allowed to man the door at the Kanye Club, and when her husband gets too disruptive, she can speak up. In other words, yes, sometimes he upsets her with his mouth diarrhea.
How do we know this? She said it herself.
His controversial comments about slavery had her going nuts, and she let him have it behind closed doors, she told Entertainment Tonight at the CFDA awards in June, where she won its first ever Influencer Award.
“Did I cry about it? Did I fight about it? Yeah. That’s not stuff we put on social media. I’m not going to start tweeting what my thoughts are, but we have those moments,” Kim said of her hubby’s latest controversy. (Note: He may be embroiled in something new by the time you read this.)
Kanye also addressed the fight in his new song, Wouldn’t Leave, where he raps, “They say, ‘Build your own.’ I said, ‘How, Sway?’/I said, ‘Slavery a choice,’ they said, ‘How, ‘Ye?’/Just imagine if they caught me on a wild day/Now I’m on fifty blogs gettin’ fifty calls/My wife callin’, screamin’, say ‘We ’bout to lose it all’/Had to calm her down ’cause she couldn’t breathe/Told her she could leave me now, but she wouldn’t leave.”
Kim said, “That was the one song that he didn’t really play for me until the last minute, so I heard that last minute and it meant a lot to me. I really like that song … But yeah, we have different views sometimes, but that’s my husband, you know?”
Of those slavery comments, she added: “I wasn’t so calm… I know what he meant so ultimately, after a week, I was calm… I think he explained it well in the song.”
"Look, I always say this: It takes him about four years to write a song to communicate what he wants to say. So when he tweets something in two seconds — what's going on in his mind, and what he thinks and what he's trying to say — he might not be the best communicator but he has the best heart and I know what he means," Kim explained on The Messy Truth with Van Jones on October 27. "I believe in him, and I believe that his message of what the hat represents to him is maybe different [than] what it represents to other people. He is very mindful about that.... Maybe [he] doesn't express that. But what it means to him is something totally different, and I trust in him that he will explain that in his own way."
Great. Now that's resolved. Just kidding, he’s bound to say something crazy soon enough. He has a new album out and he needs attention the cows in Wyoming can’t give him.
Whether it’s in the name of art or alone in your own home, what do you do when your partner starts spouting some crazy stuff?
Psychotherapist Ami B. Kaplan, LCSW, told Personal Space that there's (an often unconscious) tendency on the part of a partner to want to rush in and fix whatever outrageous thing a family member has said, whether that's to try to explain it, minimize it, or make a joke of it.
“All of that can put a lot of strain and anxiety on the partner [for] the outrageous statement,” she said. “And if that's a conscious choice then that's fine. The first challenge is to be conscious of what you're doing and to ask yourself — do I really want the burden of fixing this? Often times the answer is no — and that can be a relief to know that you are not responsible for fixing your partner's behavior after the fact. Reactions to outrageous statements will largely fall on the person who made them and not on their family members. Remaining silent is very often the least burdensome choice emotionally for their partners — however, when the two individuals are celebrities, there are many more factors in play.”
Etiquette expert Diane Gottsman said, however, that it’s your right to protect your own reputation as well — and not take the fall with your partner.
“When your spouse or partner says something that you don’t agree with, it’s certainly your right to own your own alternate opinion. If it’s controversial, the reality is it could damage your reputation as well. It’s acceptable to separate yourself from the comment. You may even let those in attendance know you disagree with the sentiment. While you can’t be responsible for what another person says, you certainly can voice your opinion and stand your personal ground.”
When the comment is made on a public forum, getting into a war of words with your spouse is not the first line of defense, she added.
“Speak to them privately and set your boundaries. A private discussion is certainly an order on what you consider tolerable and what you find offensive.”
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