9 Indisputable Facts About Every Single Person Who Has a Doberman

9 Indisputable Facts About Every Single Person Who Has a Doberman

We know your favorite book, Reagan Charleston.

By Kristyn Pomranz

Dobermans have an unfounded reputation has one of those “scary, vicious breeds,” but in reality the silky-coated Pinschers are actually rated 5 out of 5 on the affection scale. These brilliant puppers are highly trainable and obedient so they’re often used as guard dogs, but just because they’re good at defending your safety doesn’t mean they’re aggressive. 

Indeed, these stereotypes about Doberman Pinschers are completely false. But the stereotypes about their owners? Well those are all totally true, of course. (Hint: their owners may make good lawyers.

Here are nine facts about every single person who has a Doberman Pinscher: these statements are verified to be 100% true and unflinchingly rigid.

You enjoy solo travel.

You can go wherever you want, whenever you want, stop where you choose, eat whatever you want (even Taco Bell), sleep in late, go to bed early — and nobody can say anything about it. 

You hate pie.

As far as you’re concerned, hot fruit still counts as fruit, which technically makes pie a health food. And why would you eat healthy when there’s an ice cream sundae around the corner? 

You put your headphones in, even if you’re not listening to music.

Sure, you’re usually listening to tunes, but sometimes you just stick earbuds in to deter people from talking to you. (Or even better, to sneakily eavesdrop on other people’s conversations.) 

You have called your alma mater “the Ivy League of the [specific region of the U.S.].”

Seriously, why would anyone even bother applying somewhere like Yale when you could go to Michigan, which is basically the Ivy League of the mid-northern Canadian border? 

You love sending the first message on Tinder.

Why would you field messages like, “Hey Gorgeous what r u doin on a site like this?,” when you could send missives like, “DEFEND YOUR SHIRT CHOICE!” 

You’re one of those people who gets “runner’s high.”

And the rest of us hate you for it. 

You loved Fifty Shades of Gray and you aren’t even embarrassed about it.

The Fifty Shades trilogy was basically the first time it was socially conventional to read porn in public. (You also weren’t mad about BDSM becoming more acceptable…) 

Your favorite real housewife is Erika Girardi from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

She’s smart. She’s funny. She’s confident. She’s no-nonsense. And she knows how to get sh*t done. Also, she’s a little bit intimidating to newcomers, which you can certainly appreciate. 

You definitely own at least two leather jackets.

You love the leather jacket you got from All Saints, but it’s a moto style, which is really more of a fall cut. So obviously you needed to also get that other leather jacket from Revolve for spring. 

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