Why Meghan King Edmonds Feels "Guilt" Amid Hart’s Brain Issues

Meghan King Edmonds hasn't rested since learning that one of her twin sons, Hart, was diagnosed with "irreversible brain damage" in connection with his minor Periventricular Leukomalacia diagnosis over the summer. She has been traveling all over to try out treatment options for her son, and because of that she's been home less and with her other children and stepchildren less frequently than she would like. She opened up about "the guilt" she feels regarding that separation in an emotional post on her personal blog.

"I sit here as Hart and I are embarking on his second intensive therapy session away from our family. First we went to The NAPA Center in Los Angeles for three weeks, now we are getting hyperbaric oxygen therapy in New Orleans for a month," The Real Housewives of Orange County alum shared in a blog post. "As a family we are all making huge sacrifices to help make Hart function typically."

She then noted, "My heart is so damn heavy with the time I’m spending away from my kids: Aspen is acting out and Hayes is whiney and he doesn’t know why, not to mention my stepkids – 'Hi, it’s me, Meghan – your stepmom, remember me?  I didn’t leave you, I love you!' It KILLS me to spend so much time away from them – especially Hayes because I have never been able to devote the one-on-one time to him that Aspen and Hart have both gotten. Oh! The guilt!"

The blog post then examines what it's been like to be a mom to both these twins who are "Very Differently Abled Twins" as she titled the blog post. She writes, "As a mom, how do I internalize their abilities?  To really boil it down I feel like I have an angel and a devil on my shoulder when looking at the other child through my mom lens."

Meghan is also mom to Hart's twin brother, Hayes, as well as their big sister, Aspen. She is stepmom to husband Jim Edmonds' children from his previous relationships: Landon, Sutton, Hayley, and Lauren.