WOW! What a season, huh?! And I survived! With relatively few bumps and bruises, too. Sure, I made some silly mistakes here and there, but they’re the ones that only made me look silly at the end of the day—nothing too intense. (Yes, my Mom DID call me and say, “Sweetheart…that was interesting,” so Heather was right about that one, but after she told me to keep it to a two-drink maximum, we discussed everyone’s fashion choices, laughed about it, and moved on.) In the end, I can always laugh at myself, and that’s the trick to doing this thing, I’ve realized: Be the first one to laugh at yourself. Thankfully, I’ve always been like that.
Sad that the same doesn’t hold true for the rest of our group. As a result, some of the relationships have been damaged—probably indefinitely—and friendships have completely dissolved. Miscommunication is a bitch! But even worse, the inability to come to terms and move forward. That will cripple anyone and anything. My little clashes with Heather popped up, and we have different opinions from very different perspectives—which was surprising at first—but then almost expected. I saw where she was coming from, almost anticipated her remarks and retorts, and realized we have “irreconcilable perspectives.” But even then, I just wanted to put it to rest, move forward, and forget it. Even if determining who/what was right or wrong was ignored altogether. No rehashing, no belaboring—the friendship is all that matters to me at the end of the day.
Listen, sometimes a good ol’ fashioned Ramonaesque “I’m sorry” can go a long way.
Speaking of relationships and Ramona, my relationship with John continues to grow. I feel like this season has shaken our little apple tree a bit, but we have managed to find a way to hold steady on this little road of television chaos. I don’t let him order at restaurants any more, we’re both getting fit and trim and bringing sexy back—or trying! (Besides, if I let John order at restaurants, we’ll end up with a roast pig and an entire school of salmon en croute spread across nine tables.) We are happy, we are great friends, we love each other, and that’s really all the world needs to know right now. (By the way, salmon en route beats eggs à la Française any day, thank you very much!) Did John try to pop the question while we were at Wild? I don’t know. Either way, ladies, just say NO to a proposal at a pizza place. Don’t get me wrong, I love bread, I love cheese, and I love tomatoes, but asking someone to marry you while tomatoes are being squeezed and stewed in the next room is a bit…cheesy. (Sorry, I had to.) There’s been so much “drama” with the girls and with John that I just need to keep things simple and find our focus again. Besides, too many cooks in the kitchen can make for a hell of a poopoo platter, LOL.
And speaking of cooks…I was so happy to finally meet the famous Adam! Listen, he and Carole seem happy, and that’s all I’m going to say about that. It’s not my business, I don’t live with them or wake up with them, but they both seem to share a big smile, so that’s that. As Bethenny said about me and John, the heart wants what the heart wants!
So it was nice to see Bethenny and Ramona harkening back to good ol’ Season 3 moments these past two weeks. The whole “New Beginnings” shtick didn’t really stick. Frustrating, right? More about the old past and Dressgate, Chefgate, Toastergate, Uncoolgate, Bitchgate…It’s exhausting, I don’t know how they all do it. At the end of the day, we’re all just living our daily lives, pursuing happiness and success in whatever ways suit us. Life is difficult sometimes—especially when you expect it to be totally different than how it ultimately turns out. I think most of us thought we would be happily married, our children grown and out of the nest, with life slowing down a bit and spending our days at yoga classes and tennis courts, taking “classes in optical art,” and hosting brunches on our behalf, as they say. But somehow it hasn’t played out like that —at least not yet. (Though we do love a good brunch!) So we get it right, we get it wrong, but we get up every day and hope for the best and keep on keepin’ on. I’ll drink to that! (And one for Mahler!) #BroadwayBaby
So, in closing, I want to say thank you to all of you. It has been so much fun. It’s been anxiety-ridden, scary, frustrating, annoying, exhilarating, hilarious, endearing, but most of all…really renewing, if that makes sense. It’s incredibly wild to see yourself on TV. It becomes a constant evaluation, where you question everything from how you walk, to how you talk, to what you wear, to what you spent on something that isn’t so flattering after all… But it makes it clear who your friends are, what they’re capable of, and what YOU bring to the table. London with Carole was one of the most beautiful and fulfilling experiences of my life. And being on this show has been an amazing thrill ride. Watching Amy Phillips impersonate me was like winning an Emmy. (You should see MY impression of Amy doing Dorinda…)
It’s been fun and I always have the greatest time. In fact, we all do.
Until next week!